Questions No One Should Ask A Writer

The other day, someone said to me, “Hey, you’re a writer, aren’t you?” and I looked at the person suspiciously like, “Why? Do you need a poem for your grandpa’s birthday? Because I’m not good at the rhyme-y stuff.” But she responded, “No, ha-ha! I was just wondering if there are any questions that no one would dare to ask a writer.” And I thought about it for a while, but I couldn’t really respond to her.

What are things that no one would DARE ask a writer? That’s a tough question, mainly because, while there are numerous questions that you SHOULD never dare to ask a writer, there will always be someone who’s willing to cross the line and ASK IT. So I thought, instead of writing about questions no one would DARE to ask, I would make a list of questions that no one SHOULD ask. At least as far as I’m concerned—obviously I don’t speak for everyone.

1) How much money have you made on your book/your blog/your poetry/your short stories?

The answer to this one is simple—somewhere between Stephen King and a person who has never had a novel published, but definitely not enough that I can quit my day job. Attempting to define success by equating it with a dollar amount just doesn’t work for most writers. Unless you’re either very lucky or you promote the hell out of yourself, chances are you’re not going to be able to retire on your royalties.

Making money from your writing is HARD, especially if you’re Canadian like me. Things are a little bit different in Canada—I was accepted by a traditional publisher without an agent and I’d never even heard of “querying”—but it’s still hard to make any money in a market that small, or in any market really, no matter how good a writer you are. That’s OK though; I didn’t start writing to become rich and famous. And that previous sentence is, of course, a lie. All writers deep down harbour a secret fantasy about walking into a room and everyone whispering, “Ooh, it’s so-and-so, the famous writer!” Which is why this question should never be asked—it only serves to highlight how un-rich and un-famous I currently am. 

2) How many times were you rejected before you got published?

The only people who are EVER happy to answer that question are people who are now wildly successful. Do you really think J.K. Rowling wanted to discuss the 10th time that Harry Potter was passed over? NO. But now that she’s world-famous, she has no problem telling people that it was 12 times in a “Ha-ha, all you publishers that couldn’t see the potential here” kind of way.

Personally, my first novel was rejected twice, which isn’t that bad, but my short stories and poems get rejected ALL THE TIME–in fact, the other day, I got rejection emails from two different literary magazines within five minutes of each other, and I was like “Aw, COME ON!” An artist friend of mine told me about some theory that for every twenty rejections there will be one acceptance, so I think a lot of us are definitely due. But as difficult as it is to get yet another “Thanks but no thanks” email or letter, rejection is a part of a writer’s life and it’s nothing to be ashamed of. It’s also nothing to want to talk about. 

3) So when do you think your new novel will be finished?

Well, I’ve been halfway through Chapter Four for the last 3 months so at this point, hopefully before I die? This question is such a thorn in my side, although I know the people who ask it don’t mean any harm. It’s just that, like a great many writers, I have a day-job, and a family, and the continual distraction of social media, and…basically, it’s difficult to find those quiet stretches of time that I need to concentrate and get into the flow of writing a novel. Every time I step away for a couple of days, it takes time to get back into that headspace. It’s not that I’m NOT writing—I have a blog that I post weekly, and I’m constantly waking up at 3 am with an idea for a poem or short story. But the novel? I need a lot of what I call “think time” first, simply sitting and imagining the characters and what they’re doing so that I can open up the laptop and start hammering away. 

4) Hey, did you base that character on me?

People ask this sometimes, particularly family members, and the answer is No, I did not. Our perception of other human beings is very two-dimensional; we can never know someone else completely, so it’s hard to develop an entire character based on a single actual person—for me, they’re usually a conglomerate of many different people, and sometimes they’re completely fictional. As writers, we know our characters inside and out, every detail about them, because we MADE them, unlike real people who we will never know that intimately, so no—it’s NOT YOU, Aunt Brenda. I WILL use the name of someone I know for a character if it’s a cool name, but even that can be awkward:

Friend: Aw, did you name that character after me?
Me: Well, yeah—I really like your name.
Friend: Is she a nice person in the book?
Me: Sure. I mean, she dies almost right away from radiation poisoning, but she’s nice.
Friend: Oh.

Ultimately, it’s better not to ask.

—

Suzanne Craig-Whytock is a Canadian writer published by Bookland Press. Her first novel, Smile, was released in 2017, and her new novel, The Dome, will be released this October. Her short fiction has appeared in Slippage Lit and X-R-A-Y Literary Magazine. She also has a weird sense of humour, and you can read all about that on her website  educationalmentorship.com.

THE DOME

It’s the year 2135, almost four decades since the Water Wars ended. Much of the continent is a desert wasteland, and the powerful Consortium rules Adanac, one of the few habitable areas remaining, with an iron fist.

Cee and Dee, 16-year-old twins who share a special, almost psychic bond, are runaways from a Consortium workhouse. Now living as Freeworlders in the largest tent city in Trillium province, they’re determined to survive—Dee spends her days thieving with her best friend Rogan, and Cee makes a living selling his handmade woodcarvings to the Fancies, the wealthy elite. Like all Freeworlders, life is a struggle, made worse by the constant threat of The Dome, where punishments for the slightest offense are meted out by the Dome Master.

When devastating circumstances force the twins to become separated, all seems lost until the sudden appearance of a mysterious stranger who reveals some shocking truths. Rumours become reality, enemies become friends, and old foes resurface.  Dee and Cee are tested to their limits as they confront the demons of their past and try to save the future, for themselves and all of Adanac.

Tags: featured, women writers

Category: Contemporary Women Writers, How To and Tips