Rewriting the Most Important Story of All: The Story of You

By Darcy Eikenberg

When someone says, “Let me tell you a story,” what do you do? If you’re like most of us, you pause, lean in, and prepare to listen. Stories are an essential part of any country, company, or culture, and they’re part of you and me, too. 

In corporate environments like the ones I work in, we often think of storytelling as a buzzword—a tool for manipulation or obfuscation. But the truth is that we’re all storytellers. 

The question we have to answer in our lives at work, though, is whether the story we’re telling is helping us—or hurting us. Our stories make the difference between being encouraged to grow—or being asked to go. 

A case study

As I wrote my book, “Red Cape Rescue: Save Your Career Without Leaving Your Job,” I was reminded of my client Maria, who led a large operations center in her company. She grew up in the organization and was a go-to person for ideas, encouragement, and get-it-done finesse. 

One day, Maria arrived at work to the news that her firm had been bought by an organization three times the size. As these things go, with security laws and last-minute deal-making, even as a high-level leader, Maria was blindsided by the announcement. Noting her natural concern, her current CEO took her aside and assured her the acquisition would create more opportunities for her to grow and be part of the new structure. 

The CEO was absolutely right; so right, in fact, that Maria’s workload exploded. Suddenly, she was asked to step into rooms of people she’d never met talking about things she didn’t know. 

After a couple of weeks, she called me, exhausted: “I don’t understand half of what’s being discussed in these meetings. I’m so afraid of asking a stupid question in front of our new leaders or suggesting something that fails. I’m over my head here and think it’s time for me to look for a new job before I get fired.” 

After giving her a chance to breathe, I asked, “What if you rewrote that story?” 

“Story? It’s all true! I’m not making this up!!” 

“Yup, it’s absolutely all true. But what if the story is this: you’re so valuable and trusted that no one cares if you’re right or wrong; they want your input and the smart questions they expect you’ll naturally ask. What if the story is that every single person in the room also feels over their heads because it’s a brand-new experience, and they’d be relieved if someone as honest as you would say ‘this strategy doesn’t make sense to me’ or ‘could you explain that financial measure again?’ What’d happen if THAT was your story?” 

For a moment, Maria went quiet. Then, clear-voiced and confident, she said, “That works.” 

Over the next few weeks, Maria lived her new story and spoke up more frequently. She asked others to explain when what they proposed didn’t make sense. She became a role model for her team in being direct rather than trying to impress or play a role. Within a year, she was promoted to senior vice president in the new organization. She told me she uses the tool of rewriting her story each time her confidence wanes and she questions her worth. 

In Maria’s case, both stories were equally true: she was confused, uncertain AND she was trusted and smart. When you are faced with two potential true stories, why wouldn’t you choose the one that helps you, rather than the one that hurts you?

What’s true about you? 

The awesome news is that, like Maria, you’re free to keep rewriting and strengthening your story as often as you need to. Let’s aim to pursue progress, not perfection. And here’s one more ground rule as you rewrite your story: it always has to be true. 

You are not creating a fantasy world here. You’re working with what you’ve got. But you are also looking for what might be true, even if you have not exactly seen it yet. Think of those Magic Eye pictures you examined as a kid (and maybe still do—hey, no judgment here). In one glance, it’s only a bunch of colored dots, but in a second, more careful review (squint, blur, walk away) it’s suddenly a vase, rabbit, or pool of sharks. Just because you didn’t see the sharks at first doesn’t mean they weren’t there. 

Your better story already exists. Right now, you may be too close to it, and can’t imagine how your “tale of woe” will become a “tale of yo” (groan—sorry). But once you learn how to see it, and then find the right words to say it, then like the Magic Eye, you won’t be able to un-see it, and it’ll be all sharks, all the time. 

When you change your story, you change yourself. If you’re feeling stuck in your life at work, it’s time to switch the story you’re telling to one that matches who you want to be—the person soaring once again through your work and life. 

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Darcy Eikenberg is an executive coach to leaders at organizations such as The Coca-Cola Company, Microsoft, State Farm, Deloitte Consulting, and more. She consults and speaks about career growth, employee engagement, and leadership development all over the world. She’s the author of Red Cape Rescue: Save Your Career Without Leaving Your Job and blogs regularly on leadership and career issues at RedCapeRevolution.com. Her ideas have been shared in the Harvard Business Review, Thrive Global, CNN.com. The Ladders, The Atlanta Journal-Constitution, and Forbes, among others.

She’s an International Coaching Federation Professional Certified Coach, former principal at Hewitt Associates (now part of Alight Solutions) and graduated from Northwestern University. Darcy brings a sense of encouragement and humor to serious matters in our work and careers and offers simple, practical ways we can transform our lives at work, right where we are, right now.

Twitter https://twitter.com/redcaperev

Website https://redcaperevolution.com/

Red Cape Rescue: Save Your Career Without Leaving Your Job 

What if you didn’t have to change everything in your career to change your life at work?

When hard things happen in our fast-moving careers, conventional wisdom offers 2 options: A) go find a new job, or B) stay put and “be grateful you have a job.”

But job hunting is exhausting and complex, and workplace change often disrupts parts of our lives that were going just fine. And staying where we are, without change? That’s soul-sucking and quickly impacts our mental health, physical well-being, and ability to be happier at work.

There’s a fresh answer to help you make better career decisions without resorting to the drastic measures of changing careers, finding a new job, starting a business, or bowing to an early and unwanted retirement—and without settling or sacrificing your health, family life, and well-being.

Welcome to your Red Cape Rescue. Leadership and career coach Darcy Eikenberg shares simple, practical ways to reset how you think, revise what you say, and rescue your career without quitting, feeling stuck, or changing everything in your life. As a private coach, mentor, and speaker, she’s taught these concepts to thousands of professionals around the world, and now they’re here for you, too.

In this high-energy, fun, and fast-paced book you’ll uncover:
– Surprising ways to shift your mindset and build confidence, fast
– How to create more control over your career choices than you ever knew was possible
– What to say to ask for what you need from others—even if you have a bad manager or difficult colleagues
– Unexpected ways to protect your time and create more work-life balance, and
– New approaches to creating professional and personal success right where you are, just as you are.

Plus, you’ll get Coach Darcy’s action plans—proven concepts that work in the real world, no matter what’s happening in your company or the economy.

Don’t change your job. Change your life at work. Start your Red Cape Rescue today.

 

More at RedCapeRescue.com.

Tags: featured, women writers

Category: How To and Tips