Self-belief vs Self-delusion

“One of the hardest parts of writing is walking that line between self-belief and self-delusion.” I spotted this tidbit on Twitter the other day and it struck a chord with me. As writers, we often hear talk of a lack of self-belief as the “imposter syndrome.” Most of us experience it, if not on a daily basis, on a semi-regular basis at least. But the swing of the pendulum in the opposite direction to self-delusion is seldom discussed.

I’m not talking about believing in yourself, in your abilities, which we all need in order to make it through the skull and bones of writing and publishing. I’m talking about harboring a misguided belief that our talents are far greater than they actually are and, as a result, being closed to guidance, to instruction, to mentorship, to critique to make us better writers. 

To wit—an anonymous agent used to post bits online from some of the strangest, most self-delusional query letters that landed in their inbox. A few lines that really stood out: 

“Are you looking for a potential bestseller? If yes, please continue reading. If not, stop. It would be waste of your time.”

“I feel my book would be perfect for Penguin, Random House, or Simon & Schuster. Can you tell me whether you have good contacts at those publishers?”

“I am a thirty-seven-year-old multitalented artist and I am very serious about publishing my novel.”

If you’re still laughing, I think it’s safe to assume you don’t fall in the same category as these Delusional Debbies, but I’d be surprised if some of you, like me, haven’t rotated between self-doubt, self-belief, and self-delusion on occasion. Possibly in the same day or maybe even the same hour. You know that feeling—when you reread your work one day and you’ve come to the conclusion that you are, in fact, a brilliant writer. Another day you might reread the same passage and exclaim “What was I thinking? I suck!” But then, you return to torture yourself just a bit more and you might think, “You know what? It’s not so bad, I can make this better.” Sound familiar? As long as we don’t get stuck in the self-delusion phase, you’re on the right track.

I recently read about a writer who insisted that all of his friends thought his manuscript was “really awesome.” He sent it to an incredibly successful author for their opinion and he couldn’t wrap his head around the fact that the manuscript was returned with a note saying the author didn’t read manuscripts. He thought the author was being unreasonable. How could his “really awesome” manuscript be denied? I would say that falls safely into the self-delusional category. Personally, I was shocked the author (or their assistant) even went to the trouble of responding.

Another favorite of mine was the never-published guy who tried to auction his manuscript on eBay for $150,000. I’d say that was self-delusion, extreme edition.

I knew a writer once, whose job was writing about health topics. Nothing major, but they made a living from it. When it was discovered that a well-known author and columnist for The New York Times lived in the same town, an invitation for coffee was extended. When the well-known author declined, the writer was incensed. “She’s a writer; I’m a writer. Why would she not want to meet with me?” Another form of self-delusion. I mean, I’m a writer of fiction, but I would hardly put myself in the same category as, say Liane Moriarity or JoJo Moyes. “Hey JoJo, how about meeting up for a latte and a muffin?” Nope.

Then, of course there is the delusion that writing is a glamorous, celebrity-type activity that will reap mountains of cash, respect, and your picture of the front page of tabloids, the result of hoards of paparazzi following you wherever you go. For most published authors, those royalty checks won’t provide a molehill of cash. And that glamorous, celebrity-type life? Not unless you consider huddling over a computer screen wearing faded yoga pants, an oversized t-shirt, and chipped nail polish to match your chipped coffee mug glamorous. 

Examining our abilities, our talents and, yes, our shortfalls under a microscope (and tamping down our expectations) isn’t easy and it’s often painful, but it’s incredibly important. If you’re writing in a vacuum i.e., getting no feedback from outside readers (aside from your mother, your husband, your siblings, your best friend) you’ll have no idea if you’re caught in a self-delusional trap. The only away to sidestep it is to work with critique partners, beta-readers and, if your budget allows, a good developmental editor. 

The reality is, for most of us mere mortals, it takes a village to really see our writing honestly, accept that it can be better, then make it the best it can possibly be.

—

Densie Webb (not Denise) has spent a long career as a freelance nonfiction writer and editor, specializing in health and nutrition, and has published several books on the topic. She grew up in Louisiana, spent 13 years in New York City, and settled in Austin, TX, where it’s summer nine months out of the year. She is an avid walker (not of the dead variety, though she adores zombies, vampires and apocalyptic stories), drinks too much coffee, and has a small “devil dog” that keeps her on her toes. She has arrested development in musical tastes and her two grown children provide her with musical recommendations on a regular basis. 

The fiction bug bit her several years ago and she now has two novels, You’ll Be Thinking of Me, published by Soul Mate Publishing, and Le Reméde, published by Wild Rose Press. She is currently in the final revision stages of a work of women’s fiction, tentatively titled, “The Opposite of Amnesia.” She also recently had her essay: “Boob Job Regrets: In Appreciation of Your Previously Small Chest,” included in an anthology compiled by Randy Susan Meyers, titled Women Under Scrutiny: An Anthology of Truths, Essays, Poems, Stories & Art. All proceeds from the anthology go to Rosie’s Place in Boston, a sanctuary for poor and homeless women. And her flash fiction piece, The Prank, was in the top ten finalists for Women on Writing’s Summer 2019 Flash Fiction contest. 

Find out more about her on her website http://densiewebb.com/ and follow her on twitter https://twitter.com/dlwebb

Le Remède, Densie Webb

Andie Rogé craves control like some people crave chocolate. But she can’t control her feelings when she encounters Vincent Dubois at Lizzie Borden’s Bar.

Tortured by blood lust that has ruled him for almost two hundred years, Vincent is unprepared for the pull he feels toward Andie. He can only surrender to what he knows is fate.

Offered a cure from a rare black orchid, he faces an agonizing choice—take the only dose and join Andie in the human life he so deeply desires or give the cure to his Kindred brother to stop his bloody rampage. Fate brought them together but will it destroy their chance at a future?

BUY THE BOOK HERE

Tags: featured. women writers

Category: Contemporary Women Writers, How To and Tips