Sonali Dev Interviews Vandy Guru of LIES AND OTHER LOVE LANGUAGES
Sonali Dev Interviews Vandy Guru of LIES AND OTHER LOVE LANGUAGES
About the book:
From the bestselling author of The Vibrant Years comes an emotional story of three women navigating ugly truths and safe lies with only love to guide them on a journey of motherhood, friendship, and life.
Bestselling advice columnist Vandy Guru built her career teaching others how to live honestly and courageously, but after the loss of her husband, Vandy’s public veneer can barely conceal her grief. When her beloved daughter Mallika suddenly disappears and her estranged childhood best friend Rani returns, stirring up long-buried secrets, Vandy’s carefully crafted life feels at risk.
Aspiring choreographer Mallika Guru is tired of failure. When another audition ends in rejection, she signs up for a genetic study to find out why she’s so different from her accomplished family. But the results reveal her whole life to be a lie, and Rani seems to be the only one who knows the truth.
Rani Parekh sacrificed everything for Vandy once. But to hold on to the life she’s rebuilt, she must confront her troubled history and face Vandy and Mallika. Join these three extraordinary women as they journey from LA to Mumbai on an incredible path of discovery, hope, and love.
SD: Hi Ms. Guru. Thanks so much for speaking with me. I know how busy you are and I hope your North American speaking tour was a success.
Vandy Guru, bestselling author and creator of the viral nationally syndicated Dear Agony Aunty column: Thanks so much for having me, I know how busy you are too. I hope your writing is going well.
SD: That’s very kind and so on brand for you to ask. My writing is going well, but we’re here to talk about your work.
VG: So we are. But you know I was married to a writer for thirty-five years. I’m endlessly impressed by you writers and your ability to dig into yourselves and find entertaining ways to talk about all the hard things we encounter as humans.
SD: I’m sorry I should have started with condolences. I’m so sorry about Vir. How are you holding up?
VG: It’s been almost a year. My work and my daughter have been my solace. Vir would have wanted us to keep going. Fortunately, my readers have been very supportive.
SD: It would seem so. Your seminar tour on living your most authentic life was sold out across eight cities. You have millions of engaged followers on social media. What do you think makes so many people connect with your message?
VG: I think it’s the simplicity of my message. We live in a world that is getting progressively more complex. Everyday we’re bombarded with more things we should want, and endless conflicting advice on how to get them. My theory is based on what I’ve learned from life.
SD: Vandy Guru’s Rules for Life:
- Identify what you want
- Take action to get it
- Embrace the consequences
Is it really that simple?
VG: I don’t think of it as simple, especially not that last part. But I do think these three things are inescapable, therefore it simplifies your life if you consider all three before using up energy on going after things.
SD: When did you identify you wanted to be an advice columnist?
VG: Honestly, I don’t think it’s what I set out to be. I always wanted to do something to help people. I had a friend who used to tease me about trying to find a way to make a living telling people what to do. But really, all I wanted was to be a mother and live life on my own terms. Strangely enough both those things came from my upbringing but in completely opposite ways.
SD: Can you explain that some more.
VG: I was born in LA in the seventies. I grew up in Orange County. It was lonely being the only Indian child at my school. My parents built deep connections with community so we’d have some sense of belonging. But it went with very structured rules for who we had to be. I hero worshiped my mother as a child but there were choices she made that I didn’t agree with. I think as a young woman, I wanted to rewrite the script. Do the things she had done but in ways that didn’t feel like compromise.
SD: As always that’s very wise.
VG: Truth is, the way I went about it was anything but wise. But I learnt. We learn from loss, don’t we? It’s the best teacher.
SD: Unfortunately, it is. Before I let you go, let me ask you to address the few critics you have. What do you say to someone who calls you too in control, too clinical, even robotic?
VG: I wish they were right. I would give anything to be a robot right now. Can I say something off the record, because there’s no one else I can say this to?
SD: Of course.
VG: No one’s life is as easy as it looks on the outside. My daughter and I have been struggling since we lost Vir. She’s been trying to make it as a choreographer and make her father proud. But making it in the arts isn’t easy. She recently auditioned for a bib gig and she was supposed to find out if she got it yesterday. It’s been a day since I’ve heard from her and she usually checks in with me a few times a day. No one seems to know where she is. I’ve had to use every piece of my own advice to manage my worry. So yes, a little bit of that clinical control of my emotions would be good.
SD: I’m sorry. That sounds like a lot.
VG: It is and I’m sorry I dumped that on you. I’ve got to go if that’s okay.
SD: Of course. Thanks for your time. I’m sure she’s all right. Good luck.
VG: I hope so too. I have to believe that I’ll find her. And I’ll take all the luck I can get.
BUY HERE
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Sonali Dev’s first literary work was a play about mistaken identities performed at her neighborhood Diwali extravaganza in Mumbai. She was eight years old. Despite this early success, Sonali spent the next few decades getting degrees in architecture and writing, migrating across the globe, and starting a family while writing for magazines and websites. With the advent of her first gray hair her mad love for telling stories returned full force, and she now combines it with her insights into Indian culture to conjure up stories that make a mad tangle with her life as supermom, domestic goddess, and world traveler.
Sonali lives in the Chicago suburbs with her very patient and often amused husband and two teens who demand both patience and humor, and the world’s most perfect dog.
Sonali’s novels have been on Library Journal, NPR, Washington Post, and Kirkus’s Best Books of the year lists. She has won the American Library Association’s award for best romance, the RT Reviewer Choice Award for best contemporary romance, multiple RT Seals of Excellence, is a RITA® finalist, and has been listed for the Dublin Literary award. Shelf Awareness calls her “Not only one of the best but one of the bravest romance novelists working today.”
Category: Interviews, On Writing
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