The N8 Self: You are more than your Mind, Body, & Emotions, by Jules Kuroda: Excerpt
Loneliness is a situation that we create.
The N8 Self invites the reader into holistic connection beyond just the mind, body, and heart and into the aspect of self we don’t talk much about, the human spirit.
This powerful part of our human experience drives our need for connection and meaning. Without a framework to wrestle with, this part of self often gets left out of how we think about ourselves. My hope is to offer a way to understand this crucial piece of what it means to be human, which in its essence is our higher nature and is innate in everyone.
The N8 Self offers a tangible way to understand and cultivate more meaning and purpose in our lives. Through eight characteristics, the reader will discover both the individual and universal way we are all wired for connection and meaning.
Discover principles that:
- Give you different tools to shift listlessness and anxiety
- Identify core values and ways you long to contribute
- Cultivate gratitude, generosity, and creativity
- Discover meaning through rethinking connection
The N8 Self is for those who are seeking for more meaning and purpose in life, or for those who are looking to understand themselves more fully.
Are you ready to experience more joy and fulfillment? Then this book is for you.
EXCERPT
Recognize Your Costume
We have so much power in our lives to define how we want to experience life. We can step into the patterns and characters we inherit, or we can strike out on our own and decide how we want to feel and who we want to be. I mean we kinda know this, in our bones right? Cause we try on lots of different things as kids. It’s as we age that we stop experimenting and playing as much. We tell ourselves that we can’t change, or change is difficult, or “this is just the way I am.” But let’s challenge these assumptions for a moment, shall we?
One of my favorite phases was my Jennifer Garner wannabe stage. You know Elektra, Alias… that version. I could never achieve her six pack and high kick, but I just knew I could do something stealth and sneaky, you know spy-ie.
In the midwest there’s not so much to do, and back before the age of smartphones, we just ran around like dumb kids and played. So one day I talked a friend into trying to scale the tallest building in our town by going up the fire escape. We’d been watching a lot of Alias, so I was all Elektrafied and ready to take my non-existence CIA skills out for a spin. We park our car in the… alley. Yes, the alley! = Mistake #1. I mean when trying to perform a caper don’t park your car under their external building cameras. Oops, got it. Spy lesson #1.
Ok, after parking, we ran over the fire escape, but upon inspection we quickly realized it was about 6 feet high too in the air and locked. Hm, debacle. Going back is never an option for my “bad-arce” version, and McGiver is always my go to in times like these. So I looked near the dumpsters hoping for a paper clip and magnet lasso to come to my rescue. But I found a bolt. And I had a belt. Lightbulb! I would put the bolt into one of the holes in my belt, throw it over the bottom wrung and pull it down. Brilliant…
Except, the belt wasn’t long enough to grab both sides.
So naturally, I tell my friend to climb up on my shoulders and pull it down. For some ridiculous reason, she agrees and climbs on top of my shoulders. About this time I am sure the security guard inside who was chomping down popcorn watching these country bumpkins try to be stealthy, decided to come pay us a visit. Out he walked, with my friend on my shoulders now using her full body weight tugging on the belt trying to get the ladder down.
“Um, can I help you?” He said. He was a skinny guy who was wearing a ‘Jesus Loves You’ t-shirt and looked like he had just come in from mowing the lawn. Threatening, I assure you. So my friend hops down, giving me enough time to come up with my story. “Have you ever seen Alias?” I said. His lack of smile told me to pick another route. “Ok, here’s the deal. We have never been on a fire escape and my friend and I wanted to climb all the way to the top and look out over the city.” When in doubt, try the truth.
After a pause he said. “Ok. Well, you can’t do it that way.” Then he started walking off back towards the lobby. Half way back to his post he turned his head and said, “You coming? There’s only one way to the top.”
Wait, what?!
My friend and I scrambled behind him and into the lobby of this business. It was completely empty, it was just us on this Saturday afternoon. Up we go in this ancient looking elevator and then… he pulls out his keys. Now, I don’t know if you have ever had one of those, “OMG where I am going requires special access!!” moments, but for my nineteen- year- old self it was exhilarating! Up to the top we went to a room covered in green astroturf with old pool tables. He told us that it used to be a billiards room for rich guys but had shut down years before. And off the side of the room was a hatch that led to the roof. Yep! Hatch to roof moment – very James Bond. So out we popped to the windy gusts of the midwest and holding onto the rail we looked out over the city. Triumph! If you can’t be sneaky, be charming. Spy lesson #2.
If we want to go places in life, we have to be willing to try some stuff. We have to try on different versions of ourselves, and be willing to climb different ladders. Some ladders might be locked, but you never know who might give you access until you ask. Every ladder we climb gives us perspective, on ourselves and the world around us. We have to be willing to try and it’s okay to fail. Failing is usually just the realization that what we tried isn’t working for us, and we need to try something else. We are a creature in the making. We think about ourselves as these fixed things. But that will keep you clinging to your current costume.
One of the biggest keys to growing is to not let the way we think about ourselves limit who we become. We get so caught up in our minds. We let the way we see ourselves substitute for the real being underneath. You are so much more than that. You are capable of becoming who you desire, but being is continuous. We have to work on becoming who we dream of being. Don’t let how you think of yourself now stop you from being who you long to become.
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Jules Kuroda’s life passion is helping people get past the ideas they have of themselves to unlock more fulfillment. She hopes to bring more joy and understanding into the world through her book The N8 Self. To learn more visit, https://then8self.
Category: Contemporary Women Writers, On Writing
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