The Older Wiser Writer: The Virtues of a Looong Path to Publication

By Beth Uznis Johnson

Who remembers 2012? Major news that year: the shooting death of a Black teenager named Trayvon Martin, a hurricane named Sandy that flooded the East Coast, and a mass shooting at Sandy Hook Elementary that took the lives of 18 schoolchildren and 9 adults. It was the literary year of Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn and This is How you Lose Her by Junot Diaz. 

Do you remember your writing life all those years ago? I do. My relationship with my former literary agent had ended after she didn’t sell my novel. I’d written a subsequent novel she didn’t like. But, despite the heartache, I was inspired by a brand-new idea: a book about a cleaning lady who likes to mess with her customer’s stuff. 

Keep writing, I told myself. Never quit. Every no is one no closer to a yes. 

The cleaning lady idea was hilarious to 2012 me, a wife and mom in suburban Detroit who drank too much and was pleased to read a study that swearing was good for stress relief. F*#k yeah, it was!

Had I known it would take my cleaning lady novel 12 years to have a cover and ISBN, I’d have sworn my younger, fool head off. 

Timeframes aside, I’m elated my debut novel, Coming Clean, was released by Regal House Publishing in January 2024. I didn’t give up, kept writing and submitting, and now officially have a book to hold. The thing is, I’m not the same person who wrote the novel. My kids are grown, for one thing, and I stopped drinking too much and turned to yoga instead of cursing. I wrote my novel so long ago I had to revise it to upgrade the technology used by its characters. 

I don’t even live in suburban Detroit anymore; I moved to Chicago last winter. 

I’m not the same writer who wrote the novel either. 

Publishing a debut novel so long after writing it feels like going back and re-reading old diaries: you’re partially proud of your younger self, partially embarrassed by the earnest ambition, partially relieved how much you’ve grown. When you look in the mirror, you see gray hair, crow’s feet, and the softest sag around your jawline. The forehead lines remain even when you stop making faces. 

The writing itself feels a bit shaky, in the manner of a toddler who has mostly mastered walking, but whose overconfidence leads to an occasional wipeout on a snowy sidewalk or sliding halfway down the stairs due to rushing. Controlling oneself takes time and the same goes for controlling your words on the page.

For all of us writers who keep at it, there are only two choices: give up or keep trying. Maybe it will take two years to accomplish your initial goal. Maybe 12. Maybe 20.  Don’t be mad—get on board and hold on. 

I’m here to tell you the advantages of a long and winding road to publication. All those stinging rejections? Another year on vacation explaining to the in-laws that yes, you’re still plugging away? Multiple novel projects at various stages and confused about which one to focus on? Another writer friend publishes a book while you watch and grapple with envy? Totally worth it! 

Here’s why it’s worth the work and the wait:

The opportunity to revisit earlier work and make it better. Every time you pull that novel out of the drawer and give it another round of revision, your work improves. Coming Clean is the story of a disgruntled cleaning lady, Dawn, who agrees to pose for her friend’s provocative photography project in the houses she cleans. In early drafts, crucial parts of the story were nonexistent because I was so focused on developing the lives and homes of Dawn’s customers. In building these mini-worlds, Dawn’s story became as diluted as her magical homegrown cleaning concoction.

Time and distance from the manuscript illuminated what was missing. Dawn’s backstory is that her fiancé was killed in a motorcycle crash. The novel is about starting over. A richer narrative led to the realization how hurt Dawn was that her dead fiancé’s family didn’t want her without him. This forced her to address the strained relationship with her own mother. 

Countless chances to pull back on risks taken. Early in the process of writing Coming Clean, my classmates and professor at the Tinker Mountain Writers’ Workshop pointed out a sentence buried on page 2 they found first-line worthy:

One of the best parts about cleaning other people’s houses was she got to fuck with them.

It was fun and funny to talk about such a first line in the safe space of a writing workshop when the book wasn’t yet fully drafted. It’s another thing to sign off on final proofs knowing your grandmother would roll over in her grave to read this f-bomb. 

I had years to consider the downside of dropping an f-bomb in the very first sentence. The protagonist Dawn wouldn’t think twice. It was only when Gwen Kirby’s brilliant story collection, Shit Cassandra Saw, was published in 2022 that I decided to own my character and stop worrying about it. 

The confidence to stand by your work. If you’re eager and impatient like I was, the last thing anyone wants to hear is another no. We all want to believe it’s simply a matter of finding the right reader. But…the truth is your work might not be ready no matter how much you want it to be. 

My 2012 writer self was rushed and impulsive, anxious to pound the words onto the page and keep going. Sometimes during revision, I’d find myself scanning to avoid taking the time to fix what I knew was bound to be a problem. I wanted to trust my narrative instincts even if I didn’t fully understand them.

In hindsight, I’m a little relieved those close calls for publication sooner didn’t work out. At least today I’m able to explain my narrative choices, talk about how structure is working in my novel, and discuss the themes in the book like socioeconomic status, seeing versus being seen, and what other people’s belongings say about them. 

Skin thick enough for the publication process. Online comments about not understanding the point, wondering why the book isn’t more plot driven, or not liking Dawn, sure they sting. But, I believe in my work, my character, and my novel. I hope you’ll trust that part of the reason publication can take so long is so we’re prepared for it. 

We’ve received so many rejection letters that a negative review feels like child’s play.

No one can say you didn’t work your butt off for this. The day I signed my book contract with Regal House Publishing, I got carried away in my excitement and compiled some stats.

Years from first word (of first novel) to publication: 21

Advanced degrees: 1

Writing conferences: 32

Queries sent for Coming Clean: 104

Publisher acceptances: 1 (Thank you, Regal House Publishing!)

Don’t quit. That next submission might be the yes you’re working toward. Take it from me, nothing has felt sweeter in my entire life than believing in my novel, my imperfect protagonist Dawn, and my quirky and dark cleaning lady novel than the validation of finally finding a publisher. 

—

Beth Uznis Johnson has published fiction and creative nonfiction in Massachusetts Review, Broad Street, Cincinnati Review, Story Quarterly, Mississippi Review, Southwest Review, Gargoyle, the Rumpus, Best American Essays 2018, and elsewhere. She was the recipient of the 2017 McGinnis-Ritchie Award from Southwest Review and a finalist in the 2019 Mississippi Review fiction contest. She has an MFA in fiction from Queens University of Charlotte and lives in Chicago. Her first novel, Coming Clean, was released by Regal House Publishing on January 9, 2024.

COMING CLEAN

Dawn, a self-employed cleaning lady in upstate New York, agrees to pose in the houses she cleans for her friend Matthew’ s provocative photography project. Over the course of one week, she and Matthew scour the contents of each home to find inspiration but what she uncovers instead is an unexpected connection to the people who live there: from the insecure Bridget Riley, and the recent immigrant Wei Chen, to the pretentious Robert McIntyre. But it’ s the troubled housewife, Barb Turner, and the chaos of her life that finally force Dawn to confront her darkest secret about the death of her fiancé . Coming Clean is a novel of forgiveness, family, and fresh starts.

Tags: featured, women writers

Category: On Writing