What If I Can’t Write Anymore?
While shepherding a new book through a launch, I experience what can only be described as separation anxiety from writing, but then, when it’s time to get back to it, the all too familiar crash of confidence and nagging question re-emerges. What if I can’t write anymore?
I’m told this fear is not uncommon with authors, whether they are re-emerging from the promotional vortex of a new release, approaching the end of a writing hiatus or just beginning to formulate the next idea.
My latest novel, The Art of Remembering, was just launched in July, and being immersed in the promotional campaign was all-consuming. I had a rock-star promoter managing the blog tour, received tremendous support from fellow-authors, readers and the book community at large, but was totally, and necessarily, focused on social media for weeks. As the new-book activity buzzed, my anxiety simmered beneath the excitement, as every day that passed I felt the distance growing between me and my work in progress.
When life gradually settled down to a more normal rhythm, I knew I needed to shift my focus back to writing, and that’s when it happened.
What if the Art of Remembering was my last hurrah? What if the words dry up now, the characters stop talking to me or the new storyline disintegrates as I type? What if I can’t remember how to structure a compelling arc, develop a character or craft believable dialogue? What if I can’t get back to that place, the solid ground beneath the idea I was excited about, and reacquaint myself with the cast I’ve ignored for too long?
To be clear, I’m an extremely efficient procrastinator so can always find reasons to delay diving back into a project, but this time I excelled myself.
The more days that slipped by, the more frozen I became about returning to my manuscript. As I circled the drain and talked about my fear, rather than addressing it, my husband came to my rescue reminding me that while I thought there was nothing going on, my story was still percolating in my subconscious, and that it taking its time to re-emerge was O.K. So, letting that sink in, rather than write, I worked on what I call the planning documents.
I broke out the initial summary and handful of pages I’d written three months ago, blew the cobwebs off the various books on best practices that I keep on my desk, dragged out my book of synonyms, my emotional thesaurus—all my go-to reference material while writing. As I arranged and rearranged them on my desk, having those old friends around somehow helped me reconnect with the characters I’d neglected until gradually their stories, motivations and voices began to come back to me.
When I was ready to write again, on the advice of a dear author-friend, I decided to aim for just 300 words that first day. I wrote 308, and by the time I closed the laptop I knew I was pretty much back in the saddle.
There is no one-size-fits-all formula for this process, but thankfully I have wise and experienced people around me who can provide the little shoves I need, when I need them. However, I also know that this pattern is now established, and will repeat itself, so the same questions will undoubtedly be there next time, too, hovering under the surface, keeping me wondering. What if…..?
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Alison Ragsdale writes emotionally charged tales, of family and relationships, that are described as heart-wrenching and compelling. All her novels are Amazon best sellers. She is also a two-time IPPY Award winner with THE FATHER DAUGHTER CLUB receiving the 2016 Bronze Medal for Best Regional Fiction – Europe, and A LIFE UNEXPECTED, winning an Bronze Medal in the 2018 Popular Fiction category.
THE ART OF REMEMBERING, her fifth novel, released on July 16th, 2019 debuted as an Amazon best seller, was a finalist in the 2019 American Fiction Awards – Literary category, and was a BookBub Pick for Best Book Club Book list, both in July and August, 2019.
Originally from Edinburgh, Alison now lives near Washington DC with her husband and dog. She was educated in England and holds an MBA from Leicester University.
For more information on upcoming books go to www.alisonragsdale.com.
Connect with Alison…
THE ART OF REMEMBERING, Alison Ragsdale
Professional ballerina, Ailsa MacIntyre, is at the peak of her career when her world is shattered by a shocking diagnosis. Life-saving surgery leaves her with a fractured memory, little recollection of her husband, Evan, and none of her career as a principal dancer.
While recuperating at home, Ailsa hears beautiful music coming from the apartment upstairs, and the sound of the grand piano at the hands of a talented new neighbor sparks her muscle memory. As her recovery progresses, the broken pieces of her past gradually re-emerge, a picture not quite as idyllic as Evan would have her remember. Ailsa must navigate the conflicting visions of her past, and potential future, as they collide.
Alison Ragsdale does it again. THE ART OF REMEMBERING is an exquisitely drawn story of a talented ballerina confronted with the unimaginable, and her ensuing journey to find the truth. Set in the competitive dance world, this relatable story pulled me in from the beginning, never releasing its grip until the end. You will be rooting for Ailsa with every turning page. – Peggy Lampman, award-winning author of The Promise Kitchen and The Welcome Home Diner.
THE ART OF REMEMBERING is a gorgeously-written and beautifully told story of human behavior under the most catastrophic circumstances. From the prologue to the very last word, Ragsdale commands the reader’s attention with characters that are both complex and compelling. One by one she peels back the hidden layers of responsibility, expectation, and fame to expose the soft underbelly of Ailsa MacIntyre’s life. Highly recommended. Bette Lee Crosby, USA Today bestselling author.
The body remembers even if the mind forgets. This is the essence of Alison Ragsdale’s novel THE ART OF REMEMBERING. Reading the book is like watching a Degas painting come to life and finding out what happens to the dancers after they leave the canvas. This is a luminous story about love…for a spouse, a friend, for music and for ballet– it’s heartbreaking and yet joyous. – Amulya Malladi, Bestselling author of The Copenhagen Affair and The Nearest Exit May Be Behind You.
BUY THE BOOK HERE
Category: Contemporary Women Writers, How To and Tips
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Thank you, Alisson. Great tips. What I like to do personally when I’m stuck and can’t write is to get busy with a side job. For example, you do not know what to do with your novel – ok, let it rest. Go and write a blog post, an article, a poem, or just do some trash writing.
Thanks, Kafidoff! I’m glad it was helpful. Good luck with your writing.
Loved this article by Alison and could totally relate.
Thank,Peggy!