When a Humor Author Tackles Divorce 

When a Humor Author Tackles Divorce 

By: Dawn Dais 

Over the course of my 15+ year writing career I’ve written books that have skewed mostly humorous. I trained for a marathon and wrote a book about what happens when a couch potato puts on running shoes (The Nonrunner’s Marathon Guide for Women). I did the same for cycling (The Noncyclist’s Guide to the Century and Other Road Races). Then I became a parent and found endless opportunities for humor in my endless inadequacies. And that’s when my The Sh!t No One Tells You series was born. In that series I wrote about the many perils of parenthood; including pregnancy, newborns, toddlers, and baby #2. 

All of my books had a lot of heart, but they leaned heavily on my humor and sarcasm in an effort to entertain readers who were going through various ridiculous physical and parenting challenges. 

Then I got divorced. 

A couple of months after my divorce officially detonated, my agent texted me and said, “You know, you should write a book about this.” I was on the couch, on a Friday night, eating a Snickers ice cream bar, watching depressing documentaries. I responded, “I don’t think I’m quite into the introspection portion of this program.” 

I dismissed her idea, and she took my no without pushing any further. But every time I’d share a new divorce development, she’d respond, “Write it!” And that is how The Sh!t No One Tells You About Divorce was born. 

I was still very much in the middle of my healing process when I started moving in the direction of writing a book about divorce. I knew this was a dangerous undertaking. Books don’t come out until a year after you write them, and then there they sit on bookshelves for years to come.

I was keenly aware of both of these facts and wanted to make sure I wasn’t publishing a temper tantrum that was written during a very specific time in my life, yet would be on display for the rest of my days. I needed to get my head on straight because I knew I would be an entirely different person by the time the book came out. 

Therapy was the number one way I prepared for writing a book about divorce. I said to my therapist, “We are going to have to work double time to get me to a place where I can write something that is even remotely appropriate for mass consumption.” 

I wasn’t entirely sure what I was going to write, but I felt very strongly that I needed to write something. For myself and for others. Shortly after my divorce, when everything had gone ass over teakettle, a couple of my divorced friends reassured me that everything would be okay. They were a few years ahead of me on their divorce timelines and they knew from experience that things would eventually calm down. They’d tell me, “Just give it time, everything will be fine, you guys will be fine. Just give it time.” 

I’d respond with, “Yeah, that’s great. But what the hell am I supposed to do in the meantime?” 

The “meantime” of divorce is brutal. It’s the time between the end of your marriage and the beginning of feeling normal in the new version of your life. I really wanted to write a book for people who are still going through their meantime. I wanted them to feel less alone during a really isolating time. I wanted to give them a place to rage and laugh and cry with someone who understands that sometimes all of those emotions happen within a 20-minute span of time during divorce. 

The tricky part was that I was still in my meantime while writing the book. 

This was by far the most difficult book I’ve ever written. I’ve never written, rewritten, edited, cut, and flat out froze on any other book in the last 15 years. I wanted to be as honest as possible while still being conscious of the fact that I was writing in permanent ink about quite a few other people whose lives were exploded along with mine. It was a delicate dance that I hope I pulled off. 

Since my other books are known for their humor, I made a point to lean into the absurdity of divorce and shake out the humor wherever I could. How do you figure out dating apps when you haven’t dated since dial-up? How do you fix the blasted sprinkler system in your backyard when that used to be your ex’s job? And what do you do when it’s time for dinner and you just realized your ex got the can opener in the split? 

Now that the book is out, I realize I was right, the book feels like it was written by a completely different person than who I am today. I did a lot of healing through writing the book and in the months after. Looking at it now, the book feels like a time capsule of sorts, capturing the cocoon portion of my divorce journey. A time when I had no idea what was coming my way, but I knew for certain it was something better than what I had been before. I was right. So right. 

I will always be grateful that my agent was willing to push me past my comfort level during a time when I was a bit stuck in my sorrow. That she kept tapping me on the shoulder saying, “Hey, start walking this way. Even if you don’t find exactly what you are looking for, at least you are moving. It’s time to start moving.” 

—

WN DAIS is a freelance writer and designer. Her previous books, including “The Sh!t No One Tells You,” “The Sh!t No One Tells You About Pregnancy,” “The Sh!t No One Tells You About Toddlers,” “The Sh!t No One Tells You About Baby #2” and “The Nonrunner’s Marathon Guide for Women” were published by Seal Press, have topped Amazon.com bestseller lists, and have been featured by countless TV and print media sources. Her uniquely sarcastic yet inspiring tone has entertained and guided an enthusiastic core of readers toward their various ridiculous parenting and athletic goals. Dawn’s most recent book, “The Sh!t No One Tells You About Divorce” will be released in 2023.

Dawn lives in Roseville, California, with her two kids, one dog, four chickens (unfortunate quarantine decision), two cats and the occasional mouse brought into the home by said cats. You can find out more about Dawn and her books on he

Learn more about Dawn Dais and her books at www.dawndais.com

The Sh!t No One Tells You About Divorce: A Guide to Breaking Up, Falling Apart, and Putting Yourself Back Together

A bestselling author offers a refreshingly honest, compassionate guide to the sh!tstorm that is divorce: falling apart, staying afloat, and new beginnings (whether you are ready for them or not).

After 12 years together, 2 children, 10 pets, and 5 properties, Dawn and her partner decided to call it quits. In the newest installment of her bestselling Sh!t No One Tells You series, Dawn tries to figure out what happened… and what happens next.

Dawn takes you on her own bumpy, meandering, and often absurd journey through the destruction of a life exploded by divorce. She dodges legal hurdles, irrational decisions, alarmed therapists, random hobbies, and a concerning number of dating app profiles that look like the beginning of a true crime podcast. But somehow, she found herself stronger—and happier—on the other side.

Leaning into the mess, Dawn helps you learn the art of embracing Netflix and cry, the healing power of profanity, the importance of assembling the right support squad, how to survive the sh!tshow of co-parenting, and much more. Joined by an insightful chorus of divorced friends, Dawn delivers a true-to-life and funnier-than-it-should-be guide to discovering the unexpected value in the wreckage. What if divorce isn’t just a loss—but an opportunity?

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Tags: featured, women writers

Category: On Writing