Write to Heal, Heal to Write

Write to heal, heal to write

They tell you to write what you know. It’s a cliché but that’s what I’m doing – no matter how raw it is. The protagonist in my medical murder mystery series is a doctor (so am I). She also lives with bipolar disorder…

It took a bit of guts to take the plunge and approach publishers and agents. I suppose most authors feel that way. They take months, sometimes years, to finally press send on the email they’ve read and re-read a thousand times. Perhaps I felt that more so, after all, by nature, I feel everything to the extreme, that’s part of the problem. I feel it, and I can’t find my way back. It is my definition of bipolar disorder. It’s not what we were taught at medical school at all. ‘An episodic mood disorder defined by the occurrence of one or more hypomanic episodes and at least one depressive episode.’ That’s what the textbooks tell you, but as a doctor, and now patient, I can promise you it’s not the whole truth. I hope in my writing, I can set the record straight.

I gifted my protagonist, Dr Cathy Moreland, the same mental health disorder as me, partly to work through some of the trauma it caused, but also to educate those who haven’t had first-hand experience of the illness. Unlike me, Cathy returns to work as a doctor after her diagnosis, something I, unfortunately, was unable to do. And there lies the tricky bit, the part that makes it difficult to write. The sore that refuses to scab over and at times is so friable that it oozes and weeps.

When I was first told I couldn’t work as a doctor anymore, it felt like my life had ended. The illness itself was out of control and that took a lot of medication changes to get right. My psychiatrist recommended I do something creative while I was ‘temporarily’ off work. He suggested I paint. I tried and I was rubbish so I wrote instead. I’ve always been a big reader of crime fiction, particularly the golden age, so I started trying to write what I wanted to read. Of course, in the beginning, my sentences were non-sensical, but as my antipsychotics kicked in, paragraphs formed and stories came together.

I think my psychiatrist knew in his heart that I’d be unlikely to go back to practising as a doctor. Some manage, but my relapses were frequent and debilitating. I didn’t want to let the team or my patients down, so it was easier to leave, make a clean cut and excise myself from the practice altogether. It was excruciating at the time. It still is, but bipolar to me now, is a superpower and through it, I found my second vocation. 

I write about bipolar to raise awareness of the subject, but I want to do the thing justice and show how it can both impede and assist someone. The positive has taken me years to recognise and, of course, I appreciate that it has limitations. When I am unwell, I can’t leave the house, my mind races, my thoughts are scattered and I am painfully paranoid. Sleep is near impossible, and when it comes, I am plagued by sleep paralysis, night terrors and sleepwalking (although, even this I don’t do by halves and often run into walls!) Writing helps. It is a release and I know it’s something I’m good at. The words, when I’m hypomanic, are reckless and desperate.

When I’m well, they are measured and more skilful. I recognise the distinctiveness of my voice and thankfully, so did my publisher. I signed a seven-book contract with Bloodhound Books earlier this year and hope that my medical murder mystery series will delight detective fiction fans. The promise of justice in turbulent times is comforting and I hope that making my main character so individual will create a powerful impression, destigmatizing mental health disorders. If our fictional heroes live with psychiatric issues, so too can we, and perhaps also, go on to do truly great things like them

I suppose now, in writing, I am living my medical ambitions vicariously through Dr Cathy Moreland. Maybe it allows the wound to heal over a little. At the very least, now the only people I need to worry about saving, are the potential victims in my novels. Surely, that can only be fothe good. 

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A bit about Mairi Chong

Mairi used to be a doctor but in a dramatic career change, now writes crime fiction with a very unhealthy dose of medicine! Her debut, Death by Appointment is the first in the Dr Cathy Moreland Mystery series, in which Cathy, an overworked general practitioner recuperating from a severe mental breakdown, travels to a remote Scottish coastal village hoping to find peace. While there, she is told of a tragedy from thirty years ago when a local woman jumped from the rocky headland clutching her newborn baby. Hearing this, Cathy is obviously upset but when another tragedy occurs at exactly the same spot, it becomes clear that all is not what it seems. A deadly malice creeps the winding lanes that surround the hamlet. Its stealthy footfalls are tender and reassuring but its true intent is as cruel as the sea itself …

The book is a heartfelt murder mystery and Mairi hopes the solution will challenge even to most ardent murder mystery fans. When she’s not plotting murders, she enjoys reading her ever-expanding British classic crime collection and riding her three horses.

Social media links

Amazon author bio; Amazon.co.uk: Mairi Chong: Books, Biography, Blogs, Audiobooks, Kindle

Facebook page; https://www.facebook.com/Mairi-Chong-Author-105671521098124/

Instagram; https://www.instagram.com/mairichongauthor/

Twitter; https://twitter.com/mairichong  

Website: https://mairichong.com 

DEATH BY APPOINTMENT

A doctor retreats to the Scottish coast for a fresh start—but finds herself in harm’s way—in this compelling murder mystery.

Physician Cathy Moreland needs time to heal, having recently been diagnosed with bipolar disorder while struggling with a painkiller habit. The little village of Kinnaven promises respite, but after Cathy attempts to get an opiate prescription, things don’t go well. When she discovers the body of the local Dr. Cosgrove, her sanctuary is shattered.

Before long, Cathy is swept up in local gossip about the death. Decades earlier, the cliff where Cosgrove died had been the site of another tragedy, leading some to suspicions about the doctor’s demise. But as Cathy determines to learn the truth, she will find herself in grave danger.

The Dr. Cathy Moreland Mysteries are written by a former practicing physician and praised for their “great characters” (Peter Boon, author of Who Killed Miss Finch?).

To buy Death by Appointment on Amazon: http://viewbook.at/DeathByAppointment

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