Writing When It’s Not All Roses And Rainbows
I sat at my computer last night. Really, just sat there. I opened the manuscript of the follow-up to Awakening on Purpose: Trusting the call. Zero motivation came to raise my fingers to the keys. I actually said to myself, “I’m depressed.”
And then a strange thing happened. My self answered. “Yes. And?”
I sat in the pause.
“You’re right,” I answered as the wisdom filtered into my brain. “So what if I’m depressed? I can write while depressed. I can invite frustration, lack of motivation, and depression to join me.”
That strange realization was enough for me to start clacking away at the keys. After weeks of procrastinating about writing the third book in my Awakening series, I finally got to work. What had felt like an insurmountable task suddenly became doable.
Not far into my manuscript, I came upon this entry:
March 23, 2015
Making peace with the pieces
The Heart Sutra, om gate gate paragate parasamgate bodhi swaha, was interpreted by Master Chunyi Lin to say, “We all go together, to the other side of the shore, this is the quickest way to enlightenment.” I assumed it referenced humanity. Shit, I thought, it’ll take an eternity to get all of humanity to awaken.
Today it occurrs to me perhaps “all” refers to all the pieces of me. The past lives, the unwanted or rejected parts, personalities, reactions, and emotions. Perhaps I don’t need to be responsible for all of humanity’s awakening. Perhaps I need only retrieve all the pieces of me. And maybe in making my small universe whole, I can impact the greater universe.
This discovery spurred my writing on further. I expanded journal entries, fattening them into manuscript paragraphs and then chapters. I googled deep holes and filled in the blanks.
I scrolled the last page, skimming the words for any required revisions, when my daughter came downstairs. “Mom, what are you doing sitting in the dark?” Nearly two hours had passed since I pulled up a chair for my depressed writing partner. The sun had set and I hadn’t even noticed.
Conditions don’t have to be, and will rarely be, ideal for writing. We come as we are. It’s what makes our stories rich and our process healing.
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About Stephanie Hrehirchuk
Stephanie lives in Calgary, Alberta. She is a multi-genre author of 11 books, including the recently-released An Accidental Awakening: It’s not about yoga; It’s about family, and it’s follow-up, Awakening on Purpose: Trusting the call. Stephanie was a regular contributor at Gaiam, with articles published at Sivana Spirit, Finer Minds, and Elephant Journal. She donates 10% of the profits of her detox book to Fuel for School, a Calgary Board of Education initiative to feed hungry elementary school students so they can focus on learning. Stephanie has a tree planted for every print copy sold of her Anna series of children’s books.
Stephanie’s website: https://
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Goodreads: https://www.
Awakening on Purpose: Trusting the call
What if you could take a remarkable journey that would lead you to your life’s purpose, but first you had to give up everything you knew to be true. Would you take the leap of faith?
Stephanie must challenge her definition of normal when she is initiated into nature school and the language of the land. She must trust her visions, trust that she’s not crazy, and trust that the call will lead her to her life’s purpose.
The follow-up to An Accidental Awakening: It’s not about yoga; It’s about family, Awakening on Purpose follows Stephanie to the mountains of California, the red rocks of Sedona, the beaches of Maui, and even a surprise nudist retreat with her mother. And, like an Accidental Awakening, she shares all the wisdom, warmth and humour earned along the way.
Category: Contemporary Women Writers, On Writing
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“We come as we are.” We do, don’t we? I enjoyed your article!
Thank you, Liz! Be well.