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I Spent Four Years Married to a Monster – and Then Wrote a Novel About it

March 25, 2026 | By Women Writers Women Books | Reply More

Patricia Gordon Stevens is a counsellor who endured domestic violence and stalking before fleeing the family home. She cautions friends to pick up on signs that others missed in her case.

By Patricia Gordon Stevens

I wrote Madness In Memphis out of necessity. I spent too long married to a man who made me afraid, and who hurt me with both his words and his fists. Plagued by manic-depressive disorder (bipolar) and a severe personality disorder, he chose not to medicate and his actions subsequently affected every waking minute of my day. Now, some of my experiences have found form in fiction. I intertwined my experiences with what goes through the minds of other women who have chosen to flee their predator.

The opening of my book is shaped by one particularly poignant moment in my detrimental marriage to a monster. It was Christmas in my hometown of Memphis and I had spent half the night cooking for the office party. Carrying the heavy glass platters full of food to the garage the next morning, I heard a noise – something was in there with me. Next minute I had gloved hands around my neck, there was shattered glass at my feet and my husband was shouting expletives in my ear, shaking me uncontrollably. I couldn’t scream. I couldn’t breathe.

Nothing has ever felt so incongruently calming as the blaring scream and flashing lights of police sirens. My attentive neighbour had heard noises; it was most likely my husband banging me against the car door. Her phone call to triple zero probably saved my life. When the police photos were taken, I was bruised from waist to neck. And yet, I remember feeling grateful – the nightmare was out in the open and I felt less alone.

Somehow I just carried on

I knew that day that I had been assaulted, but I had two children to look after, to protect and raise, and I could not miss a day of work. So I carried on the best I could. Having earned a Masters in counseling and a postgraduate degree studying psychological science, health science and psychology, I know now that not taking time to fully acknowledge and reflect on the assault was extremely unhealthy for my mental, emotional and physical health. Women do this all the time. And mothers? They just do what they believe is best to protect their families because instinct advises them so.

If I had written a work of non-fiction, my readers would have been subjected to the same statistics which they see repeatedly reflected on television and in newspaper stories and which seemingly have little impact on what appears to be an unaffected public. If we were truly distressed, shocked or horrified by what happens to our Australian women and children, we would surely each ‘hop to action’ to find a way to prevent the abuse. Domestic violence is continuing at a stable, steady rate. This is unacceptable.

Monsters hunt their prey

Monsters do not discriminate: no matter your religion, culture or beauty, regardless of whether you are well-educated or a high school dropout, profoundly wealthy or poor as a mouse, a monster will hunt you. None of this makes you a bigger or lesser target; people

who want to control others spend their life searching for the next person they can manipulate to their advantage.

The purpose of the book is for the reader to comprehend and completely understand what a woman is facing once she decides to flee her violent situation. One in four women living in Australia are experiencing violence in their intimate relationships. You will feel Morgan’s thoughts – you will go through what she experiences as if you are by her side because every moment of the book is an attempt by Morgan, her children, Ollie and Opal, and their beloved furry family member, Dixie, to get further away from their current situation and be rid of ‘the monster’.

Could someone you know be married to a monster?

We do not know what goes on behind closed doors – even with those whom we believe we are closest to. We think we know someone, yet people can hide their true personalities for years – sometimes longer. Perhaps even a lifetime. How many stories have you heard where a man or a woman exclaims their partner changed immediately after saying ‘I do’?

There are thousands. So it is our responsibility to remain vigilant about the new relationship in our loved one’s life so that they don’t become the next story. Morgan Sage could be your daughter, your sister, your niece, cousin, aunt, mother, or even grandmother. Monsters have a way of scoping out their prey’s closest relationships and endearing themselves to every important person in their new victim’s life. So, when the relationship becomes fractured or is on the brink of collapse, people in the woman’s circle of support might be surprised, shocked or even doubtful that this ‘man’ could ever impose himself on her in such a violent, negative way.

If you are not hearing from a female family member or friend the way you used to prior to the relationship, be brave. Knock on their door. If he answers and responds, ‘she cannot be interrupted’ or ‘she has a headache’ or ‘she is not able to come to the door at this time’, and if you feel safe enough, push through and say, ‘I need to see my best friend; it’s been too long.’

If the next time you see your family member or friend and her demeanour is different, her type of dress has changed, he answers for her, she simply does not appear to be the same person prior to being in this relationship; these observations should all be a red flag. Get help. Devise a plan to make certain your loved one is safe.

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MADNESS IN MEMPHIS

Morgan Sage is a mother of two who has been divorced and remarried. She is savvy, bright, successful and sensitive and she loves her kids more than anything on Earth. She thought that bringing a man and a father figure into the fold of her family was just what they needed to be whole again. She had no idea that the man she delivered to her children would be a monster.
As Morgan faces her hardest battle yet and struggles to escape her predator, her mum, best mate, outstanding colleague and attorney stand beside her. She gets away, seeking refuge with the people who care about her.
However, the monster is not ready to let Morgan go and constantly shocks the people around her at the extremes he will go to cause terror. It is the day-to-day battles that prove to be harrowing. Everyone needs a safe place to nest – getting there is the unknown.