The Soulmate Strategy: My Imperfect Plan to Conquer Heartbreak and Find True Love
A soul-searching LGBTQ memoir about one woman’s attempt to plan her way to happily ever after—only to realize that healing, self-discovery, and love happen in their own time.
Days after Corey’s breakup, a photo of her ex wrapped in the arms of another woman goes viral on Facebook. Confronted with this gleeful boast about “happily ever after,” Corey, a forty-something lesbian, decides that she can’t live in a state of perpetual loneliness, plagued with the burden of her own failure in finding happiness and love.
Armed with her meticulously crafted checklist, Corey embarks on a mission to heal, move on, and find “the one.” But no matter how many items she checks off her list or how faithfully she follows the sage wisdom of psychics, her breakup coach, and the legendary rapper Eminem, her hope in finding her one true love begins to fade away—until she’s suddenly torn between two.
Now, with her heart unexpectedly on the line, Corey must find out what she really wants—and where her true happiness lies.
Conversation Between Corey the Author (A) and Corey the Character (C)
By Corey Seemiller
Corey the Character: You’ve been through breakups before, arguably ones more significant than this – like one with someone you had a child with and another with your first love. Why did you write about this particular breakup?
Corey the Author: I was profoundly in love when my partner and I split up…and I felt a deep devastation with how things ended. This sent me into a tailspin where I couldn’t predict or control my emotions or how fast I healed and moved on. That feeling became overwhelming and sent my Type A personality into a type of frenzy I had never experienced before.
Corey the Author: What was the scariest part of the one-year post-breakup journey for you?
Corey the Character: Feeling so out of control. The more tightly I held onto my expectations for how I should be healing or tried to “find” love, things seemed to become even more chaotic. Oh-and online dating! Now, that was scary!
Corey the Author: How did your feelings change over the course of that one year?
Corey the Character: I kept having blips of realization that I was trying to control everything and instead needed to go with the flow. But, even with that insight, it was like I couldn’t help myself. I held on even tighter to my expectations. Finally, when I was overcome with emotions and clarity that came not from my own efforts that I realized I had little control of anything after all.
Corey the Character: Was I really that neurotic?
Corey the Author: Yes. I found myself yelling at my keyboard as I typed, even though I had literally just lived those moments.
Corey the Character: What was the hardest thing to portray in me as you were writing my character?
Corey the Author: Just how much angst, guilt, and uncertainty you felt all the time.
Corey the Character: Was there anything you added after the story unfolded?
Corey the Author: Someone asked me well after the draft was done why I was so fixated on the notion of soulmates. I realized that while I knew all along that it had to do with ensuring I would be in a fail-safe relationship (if your soulmate is forever, the relationship won’t come to a horrid end like my past ones had), I hadn’t articulated that as clearly in the book. I built that theme out and came to make more meaning of it as I wrote.
Corey the Character: Were you scared to write about me?
Corey the Author: Terrified. I’m a professional speaker and a professor. What would other people think if they found out I was messy and neurotic and sometimes even unlikable? What would I think about myself if I had to reflect on all of my flaws, write about them, and then re-visit them during the editing process over the next several years?
Corey the Character: Since you didn’t publish the book until four years after the story itself ended, did anything significant happen afterwards?
Corey the Author: I continued with many of the items on my checklist that had contributed to my wellbeing like walking, therapy, social connections, and even Law of Attraction. But, I never went back to the psychic!
BUY HERE
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Corey Seemiller is an award-winning professor of leadership and global generational expert. She has authored several books and articles and speaks at events around the world. Her work has been featured in major news publications and media outlets such as NPR, The New York Times, Time Magazine, and Newsweek, and her highly popular TED Talk has garnered hundreds of thousands of views. An accredited life coach with specialties in Law of Attraction and intuitive development, Corey also co-hosts the Rock That Relationship! podcast, discussing debacles and successes with breakups, healing processes, dating, and relationships. Corey resides in Tucson, Arizona and is an avid hiker and outdoor enthusiast.
Category: On Writing
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