An Excerpt from Sonia Palleck’s “Leave the Little Light on: Book 1”

An Excerpt from Sonia Palleck’s “Leave the Little Light on: Book 1”

Sonia Palleck was born and raised in Windsor, Ontario, Canada. She went to school at Western in London, Ontario and graduated from Dentistry in ’93 and Orthodontics in ’99. She pioneered the use of digital orthodontics in practice and has lectured all over the world to share her knowledge. 

She married her dental school sweetheart and welcomed her one and only child, Djuka, to the world.

In 2018, following her divorce and the death of her parents, Sonia searched for healing to bring meaning and peace to her life. In 2020, Sonia wrote a series of four books called “Leave the Little Light On,” each volume named after the four cities where she has lived and worked. They are based on her life but she maintains they are a fictional representation. They are her contribution to the world; a new modern love story. She designed and painted their covers. She is an advocate for love. 

She has this to say about the excerpt she is sharing: “The interesting part of the first chapter is the synopsis of trauma there – the dad hurts Athena, tells her it doesn’t hurt and to stop crying (invalidating her feelings) and then blames her (why were you standing there?). This type of trauma is consistent with brainwashing where the person stops trusting their instincts and feelings, needs validation from outside sources and does not go against the authority (like society). It is important we revisit this trauma and unravel it so that we can examine what beliefs we inherited from the person who traumatized us. 

Chapter 1 of “Leave the Little Light on: Book 1”

Athena took the grey-painted stairs one at time. She was going to fetch her father, her tata. She would have to venture across the road to the variety store. She was strictly forbidden to leave the sidewalk but her mother had given her very specific instructions: “Go to Fred’s and tell Tata it’s time to go, please.” 

Athena stepped down—one foot, two feet. Her pudgy hand guided her along the wall. She had tumbled down the bare flight of stairs not long ago and was careful to pay attention. Upon reaching the bottom step, Athena moved through the small entryway quickly, careful not to look back towards the basement. Her tata’s tool shop was there, with the dungeon door.

It was late summer and the back door was open, leaving the screen. Athena ran her fingers across the mesh where it was warped. She reached up to the flat metal handle and banged the button with her palm.

The air outside was humid, but it wasn’t much different inside; it only smelled sweeter because of the dirt and grass. Having made it out of the house, Athena felt satisfied. She jumped out of the way as the door swung shut. The familiar slam made her fear that her tata would be alerted, and she would miss her opportunity for adventure.

The sidewalk beside the house rocked under her bare feet as she stepped from one concrete slab to the next. She paused to lean over and inspect a line of ants streaming from a sand pile. The ants flowed in and out, climbing over one another. Athena wondered what the inside of their house looked like. A car drove by, and the revving of the engine made her look up. It wasn’t far to the road.

Athena’s house had wide plank siding that was dusty rose. It was the prettiest house on the block. Fred and Freida lived next door in a two storey, but it had horrible green awnings. A chain-link fence separated their houses. It felt grimy on her sweaty palm. From where she was, Athena saw her tata standing across the street at the corner store, speaking with another man. His black car was parked in front.

Athena stood for a moment to catch her breath. She could hear the faint buzzing of mosquitoes, and she ran her fingers across the back of her neck. Her hair was cropped close, like a boy’s. Her mama wouldn’t let her grow it long; she said it would take too much to comb it. Athena had to cross the street. She puffed out her chest. Her pot belly hung below the tight T-shirt, and her shorts were falling slightly, twisted.

Athena watched for green bits of glass as she stepped off the curb. She peeked around the family car, looking both ways. After crossing, she sidled up to her tata, who was becoming more animated as she approached. 

“You don’t know what yer talkin’about,” he said.

The man who didn’t know what he was talking about didn’t look too happy. 

“Drag, look, you gotta consider . . . it’s the seventies now, man.”

“I don’t gotta consider nothin’. The union is tryin’ to muscle in and is only gonna make it harder for regular guys when these companies move to Mexico —’cause it’s cheaper.”

Athena came up to her tata’s knee. She put her hand on his pant leg and tugged, even though she knew not to interrupt. 

The man retaliated with a wave of his hand. “Aw, you don’t know what’s good for ya.” 

“I don’t know?” Her tata’s voice changed in pitch. Athena became determined to tell him to come home.

“Tata.” She tugged harder on his pants. 

Without looking down, he brushed her away. 

“Tata!” She resolved to do what her mama had told her. 

He didn’t look at her. His hand, holding the cigarette, swept her backwards. There was a small hiss. He extinguished the butt on her wrist, just below her thumb. Athena gasped and shrank back. The salt of her sweat stung the burn and she cried out. 

“Jesus!” Her tata grabbed her arm, and he brushed the ashes roughly away. 

Athena started to cry. 

“Whaddaya doin’ here anyways, kid? You’re not supposed to cross the street.”

Athena pulled her arm free, the skin puckering around the burn. “You gotta come home now. Mama says.” Her voice was thick with hurt pride. 

“Yeah, okay. Get home now and tell your mother I’ll be right there.” He lifted her hand up and inspected it. “Why’d you put your hand there, peanut? Didn’t you see my cigarette? Geez.” He brushed it again and she winced. “Hey, stop cryin’. You’re okay.”

Athena wanted to be okay. She wiped her eyes. She glanced back up at her tata’s face, his black hair falling across his forehead, his nose broad and his sharp green eyes framed in thick black-rimmed glasses, squinting down at her. 

She turned and ran across the street. A car horn blared and tires screeched, combining to disturb the heavy summer air hanging over the oily street. Athena felt her feet leaving the ground, her arm hoisted above her head, and a strong slap delivered to her backside through the thin shorts. Her tata plunked her down unceremoniously on their side of the street. His hand gripped her shoulder; she dared not move. 

He spoke sternly. “You can’t run into the road, Athena!” He accentuated each syllable with a shake of her small three-year-old body. 

She nodded. All of the pain flooded in, and she was grateful he let go of her, even if it was with a shove toward the house as tears spilled over her hot, embarrassed cheeks. 

Her tata turned to look at the other man, already disappearing into the air-conditioned variety store, and said, “I gotta go now.” The street was empty.

Athena ran into the house through the side door. 

“Hey!” Tata shouted. “Don’t bang on the screen door like that! Yer gonna break it.”

—

Leave the Little Light On, Book One: Windsor

Athena Brkovich believes in true love.

Born into a blue collar family in 1968, young Athena and her sisters are sent away when their mother is hospitalized and their father is unable to care for them. The beginnings of trauma, separation, denial and suffering set Athena on her path.

Brilliant, but naive, Athena refuses to grow up and become part of an adult world she doesn’t trust. But as time unfolds, the guilt that swirls around her beloved sister Lejla, and the blossoming desire for her soulmate Niko, plunge Athena into confusion. When circumstances bring them all together in high school, betrayal threatens to engulf Athena in shame and hatred.

No matter how many walls Athena builds to escape her painful past, she must confront the person she is becoming in a society where only the strong survive.

Compelling, and at times tragic, Book 1 explores the themes of childhood trauma, family conflict, alcoholism, and teenage love. Despite the darkness, Athena struggles to follow the little light inside herself, guiding her to forgiveness, peace, redemption, and the ultimate prize, love.

BUY HERE

For more information on Sonia please visit https://www.soniapalleck.com/

 

Tags: featured, women writers

Category: On Writing