Controlling The Crazies
The daunting, never-ending path to publication can push writers to eat a pan of brownies in one sitting. Or buy three purses in a day. Because any writer trudging through the trenches on their way to publishing will attest that the journey can make you question your sanity.
Every time we think we’ve lined up our ducks, some mystery-karma-kicking monster devours a duck or two, spits it out, and our dreams fall apart.
Confession: Sometimes I even drive myself nuts. With important things in my life, I tend to do everything within my power to make them work out. I’m guessing most writers have that drive or they’d never push past that this-stinks-like-limburger-cheese first draft of a novel.
Two years ago I wrote a blog about things in my life I couldn’t control—back then it was my two daughters who were trying to get pregnant—something I definitely had no control over. I cared more about their success than my goal at the time… to get a book contract. I bartered in my mind, as if I could control their success. When they both became pregnant and had healthy babies last fall, I was sure my bartering had worked. So imagine my surprise a few months later when I was offered a book deal with a publisher, proving my mental controlling bartering played no part in what happened in their lives.
Perspective is important when it comes to what we think of as success in our writing career, or life in general. I know of many authors who have suffered through cancer or loss of a spouse or child. In the whole scheme of life, having a block-buster book deal pales in comparison to what really matters.
Which brings me back to things we can control in our writing. Rarely does “the public” understand the long hours that go into writing and publishing a book. That you have to write a gazillion drafts to get it right, edit a hundred more times, sell your soul, publish it, market it, and hope readers will pay more for your book than they do for a cup of coffee. Dear reader: however long you think an author works on a book from beginning to end: multiply that x 100.
Our books are our babies. Nobody is going to care about them as much as we will. Nobody is going to think they’re as cute or smart as we do. Nobody is going to fight for their success as much as the mamma bear in us will. Even after publishing we still have control… to a certain extent.
We can take the bull by the horns as author Kathleen Grissom did, or we can let that bull trample us nose-down into the mud. With her first novel, Kathleen contacted book clubs within driving distance, offering to meet with them to discuss THE KITCHEN HOUSE. She also reached out to book bloggers and offered them an ARC in exchange for an honest review, and connected with libraries. All of her dedication (and writing an amazing book) helped turn THE KITCHEN HOUSE from an initial 10,000 copy publication to a novel one kiss away from hitting a million book sales!
A lot of work? Yes. Will it always pay off like that? Of course not. But to a certain extent, it is something within our control.
Things I can control for my writing:
how much time I spend on social media
how many hours I put into my writing
my expectations
the balance in my life
making my book(s) the best it can be
marketing for my book(s)
Things I can’t control:
negative reviews
who will read my book
“life” getting in the way of writing
people perceiving my writing as “just a hobby”
how much chocolate I’ll consume while brainstorming
The best writing move I ever made was joining WFWA (Women’s Fiction Writers Association.) In the writing world, you need to find your “peeps.” They’ll push you forward when you’d rather sit down and give up—and reaching out to connect is within your control.
My favorite quote is “What would you do if you knew you could not fail?” When I first heard those words years ago, I thought of writing and running. Why hadn’t I tried either one? Fear of failure. So, at age forty-five, I took baby steps to try the two things I’d wanted to try for years. Who knew if I’d “succeed”? But there would be no success if I didn’t try.
Time is the number one thing most writers would like more of. People may think I’m wasting my time running when I should be writing. I am writing in my head while running, and it keeps me from going crazy (see Writer Serenity prayer.)
My husband and I try to have a “date night” once a week, even if it means watching TV together without me tapping away on my laptop. Because we all need balance in our life. Sometimes you have to reach out and keep yourself from falling one way or the other, just as gymnast Simone Biles recently did on the balance beam in the Olympics.
In life, we can’t get back the time back we lose. Spend it wisely… with family, friends, on yourself… and writing. In the end, it all comes down to perspective, and what is important in our life and our dreams. And if it all becomes too overwhelming at times, give me a call. I’ll bake you a pan of brownies.
—
Jill Hannah Anderson lives with her husband on a lake in central Minnesota. They enjoy their empty nest and also the chaos when their adult kids and ever-growing number of grand-kids come to visit.
For nearly two decades Jill has worked at a communications company. Ten years ago she started writing part-time for a Minnesota women’s magazine.
Her first women’s fiction novel, THE TO-HELL-AND-BACK CLUB, was published by Pandamoon Publishing in May 2017.
She is currently at work on her next women’s fiction novel. When she isn’t writing or reading, you’ll find her running, curling, biking, or driving herself crazy.
Find out more about Jill on her website http://www.jillhannahanderson.com/
Follow her on Twitter @JillHannahA
About The The To-Hell-And-Back Club
When you’ve been to hell…
new friends can bring you back.
In this inspiring debut from Jill Hannah Anderson~ Peyton Brooks, a newly-empty nester with a comatose marriage, loses her three best friends in a car crash, and reaches out to women in the To-Hell-And-Back Club, hoping they’ll help resuscitate her life.
Through the “Hell Club”, Peyton learns that it’s never too late to begin again. These been-there-felt-that women use their sense of humor, strength, and support to help pull her off the couch and back to living her life.
She puts an end to her troubled marriage and rebuilds the life she’d put aside two decades ago. But when Peyton digs up time capsules she and her friends buried years ago and uncovers secrets about those she loved, she struggles to keep her own life-changing secret buried.
The “Hell Club” women help remind Peyton of the strength within her. She finds a renewed hope in life and love when she faces the mistakes and guilt that have troubled her for years. When Peyton’s secret is discovered, she’s going to need the “Hell Club” women more than ever.
The To-Hell-And-Back Club is an inspiring book that reminds us that it’s never too late to start over, and that living a life of regrets is no life at all.
Category: On Writing
Subscribe
If you enjoyed this article, subscribe to receive more just like it.
Fantastic post! I agree completely with your analysis of others perceptions of writers (it’s a hobby, not understanding the time it takes to get it done) and love your lists – especially the “can’t control how much chocolate I’ll consume while brainstorming.” Date night’s a great tip, too!
Thanks, Jennifer! Yes, I’m sure I was in the same clueless boat about how long and grueling the book publishing process is. Of course I now know different.
And yes, chocolate and time spent with my husband (and not writing) help me keep things in perspective. 🙂
Jill, lots of good stuff here. It’s so easy to feel out of control and crazy! Thanks for this.
I agree, Densie. There is so much more than “just writing” that we need to do now. I think many of us feel like a snowball rolling down a hill, gathering too much “to do” things. As you and I talked, hopefully once we retire we won’t feel quite so frazzled! 😉
Love this, Jill! Finding balance is my daily goal! So difficult. Best of luck with your upcoming novel!
Thanks, Michelle! You seem to have a great following so you are doing something right (although you may be going crazy accomplishing it!) 😉 I told my husband it would be much easier to balance everything if I could have 30 hour days instead of 24. I am guessing you (and others) feel the same. 🙂
Loved this, Jill. You definitely capture the life of a writer and how other aspects of living pull us here and there. Yet when sitting down to capture a character, we know that our own breathing moments will end up in some form on the page and that is comforting. It’s okay to have a LIFE and to WRITE. Beth Havey
Thanks, Beth! I love your words, “It’s okay to have a life and to write.” So true!I think sometimes we are too hard on ourselves if we don’t get our writing goals done in the time we planned, and we shouldn’t do that to ourselves.
Can I relate? YES! YES! YES! Especially on the “buying three purses in one day.” There’s a good story behind that but not now. The list of things I can control and can’t is great. Will be copied and printed for hanging above my desk. The writer’s serenity prayer is another reminder I want near me all the time too. Thanks for this great post!
I’d love to hear your “three purse buying spree” story, Sherrey! 😉 For me, I tend to be the one who mows her way through a row or two of brownies when I stress about writing (or anything else).
I hope the writer’s serenity prayer helps ~ I’m still a work in progress with it!
I’d love to hear from other writers if you can relate to my “crazyness.” And hopefully, readers will get a glimpse of the life that goes into writing a book. 🙂
This is great! Love the list of things we can control and those we cannot. Thanks for writing this! (I love WFWA too!)
Thank you, Lauren! I’m a list maker, and seeing in black and white what I have no control of helps me let go of those things (a bit!)