How Writing ROAR Saved My Life

“I am not what happened to me. I am what I choose to become.” 

Carl Jung 

I chose happy… Writing “Roar” saved my life, figuratively, if not literally. 

I was a victim of childhood sexual abuse, spousal attempted murder, physical abuse, and lifelong emotional abuse. I had survived traumatic brain injuries and two suicide attempts. That wasn’t enough to convince me I needed to heal. I didn’t realize that those traumas were subconsciously informing my limiting beliefs and dictating my irrational behaviors. I was condemned to a life of abuse and reckless, numbing behaviors absent resolution of my traumas. 

A lifetime of abuse had forced me to grapple with feelings of extremely low self worth. After the crushing demise of my second marriage, I just truly didn’t care any more. Historically I had been a spirited, passionate, energetic soul but I felt as if I were suffocating under a cloak of lethargy I just couldn’t seem to escape from. I was squandering my life and my potential. I knew I wasn’t living my best life and I knew it was time to reclaim myself. Mere “surviving” had been the story of my life of late. Time to change the story, I resolved. So I did… 

I am fundamentally a happy person – always have been, always will be. No one will ever take that from me. Perhaps that seems like a strange reference for a book that recounts a lifetime of abuses. You don’t “find” happiness though – you make it. That’s how I have maintained my happiness, my spirit, and my ability to love profoundly, despite traversing through those events. Happiness is within you, not without. It’s not dependent on someone, some thing, some place. If you harness the power of happiness within you, no one, no trauma, no event can take it from you. If that’s not empowering I don’t know what is…. 

“Roar” is not a book about abuse. My traumas do not represent the “story of my life”. They are brief chapters at most. I am not one-dimensional. I live multi-dimensionally, spherically. “Roar” is a book about blessings. Yes, I have experienced dark moments of trauma – as have we all. That’s all they are though – dark moments interspersed in an otherwise bright life. 

“Roar” is my journal of love. Self love. I wrote it as a cathartic expression of a lifetime that encountered traumatic experiences along the way. I finally realized that this cathartic release was sufficient motivation in and of itself. I also realized that although my periodic moments of darkness could not extinguish my essence, my light could not shine as brightly as I wanted it to until I truly healed from my unresolved traumas. I needed to release the grip the past had on my present to live life authentically, to the fullest. 

“Roar” is a story of the incredible power of self healing and the transformative power of gratitude. My journey of self-healing is an empowering one. It took me until my mid-50s to realize that it was within my control to stop the cycle of abuse I had endured throughout my life. This life-changing realization had eluded me for decades despite my desire and determination that things be different. I am grateful for the priceless contribution of my “earth angels”, my truest friends and random beautiful souls, who helped me get through and past my darkest moments. 

“Roar” is a very raw, vulnerable account chronicling my personal journey of healing. I share the details to give context and insight into the trauma psyche, not because I want anyone to feel sorry for me or for shock value. Quite the opposite, as my “ending” is a happy one. Indeed, I view it as the “beginning”, free of the figurative psychological and physiological shackles of my traumas. 

I’ve lived an incredible life and I truly believe the best is yet to come. These are extraordinary blessings that I do not take for granted. Writing allowed me to truly put the dark moments in my life behind me. For decades, I had thought I was moving “forward” by repressing traumas, running from one distraction to another. In reality, my unresolved past haunted me, continuing to condemn me to a suboptimal existence. I finally realized why I needed to heal and, equally importantly, how. These realizations catapulted me on my healing journey. I was able to start profoundly healing from my traumas relatively simply and quickly once I appreciated I needed to, believed I could and discovered the guidance as to how I could. Writing enabled this. 

I humbly, fervently hope that my message is an inspirational one to help others in some small way navigate overcoming their own traumas. Everyone’s healing will uniquely be their own but I share my pathway in hope of providing some useful insights to others. Healing does not happen in silence or solitude. It’s time to “roar”. It’s time to embrace yourself and your limitless life with savage self respect and love. 

I never gave up. I hope you never give up. You owe you to live your fullest, most authentic life. My healing enabled me to stop running aimlessly and truly move forward with the passionate open hearted intensity that has always defined me. I am primed for peace. Life is good; it’s going to get great. Happily ever now. Watch out world. Here I (we) come. Let’s roar.

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Sophia Elan, a University of Chicago Law School alum and retired corporate lawyer, traded her professional career to feed her soul. She is an insatiable foodie and an avid health, fitness and travel enthusiast with a masters degree in natural health and certifications in fitness and nutrition. She considers herself blessed to be traveling the world with her fourth passport and unquenchable zest for life in quest of simple pleasures. These passions provide her with endless inspiration for her budding writing career. Sophia resides along the exquisite Turkish Riviera, but is Summering throughout France and Italy, collecting memories and inspiration. You can find her website, social media links and link to purchase her book at: https://linktr.ee/mediterraneanme

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