Humoring the Muse
My muse, a.k.a. the voice in my head, is a wonderful, fickle, and demanding soul. She’s opinionated, diverse, and relentless. If I weren’t an author I might consider handing her over to the care of a mental health practitioner. But alas, as she’s my bread and butter, we’ve worked out a compromise. I write what she tells me to write and she occasionally throws me a bone.
My genre of choice is romantic comedy. I love to laugh, and I love a happy ending, so romcoms and I are kismet. We’re two peas in a pod, the Wonder Twins, activated.
Everything I’ve ever read about writing says you should stick with one genre and give it your all, one hundred percent, day in and day out, until you’re a screaming success and your books are being turned into movies at a breakneck speed.
My muse—let’s just call her Bernadette—didn’t get that memo. She likes to write everything from nonfiction humor, to middle reader fiction to thrillers. I’m all, “Bernadette, you crazy B, what’s up?”
She replies in her nasally hybrid British/Bronx accent, “What’s up is I’m a complex, renaissance woman, yo. I long to be understood. So, let’s say cheerio to this convo and get back to work, love.”
Last spring, the season I always write a romcom (to keep the bills paid), Bernadette woke up keen to pen a thriller. I told her plain as day that the last book I wrote was her idea and it was my turn. She corrected my false memory and relayed in no uncertain terms I owed her. So, we wrote.
I know precious little about thrillers, but old Bern didn’t care. It took four months, two editors, and lots of crazy three a.m. mornings, but we finished. We’re now in rewrites for an agent in New York.
Around the beginning of June, I started to get itchy. If I didn’t get my yearly romcom out my sales were going to fall. Summer was coming, and my girls would be home from school. Bernadette and I had a heart-to-heart. She needed to hop to it. For seven days she stopped speaking to me entirely, as she hates to be told what to do.
Then one morning at 4:23, my eyes popped open with the first sentence. As is my muse’s way, she never tells me what the book is going to be about, she just hands over the first line and beats a drum in my head until I write it down. Once that happens, the words flow at a furious pace.
Bernadette’s latest offering came out in a record two weeks. She normally writes fast, but this was insane. I was in an altered state the entire time. I wrote 8-12 hours a day, not always wearing pants.
The result of this relentless schedule is by far the funniest thing I’ve ever written. It’s pure romantic comedy gold and I love everything about it. The subsequent reviews have exceeded my expectations, and Bernadette has promised me two more books in the series. I want to get writing them right away, but alas she has other plans.
“First,” she says, “we make the changes to the thriller. Then, we’re going to go in another direction.”
“NO!!!!!!!!!” I scream. “We’re already spread too thin! There’s that middle reader series to finish, the second motherhood memoir. Be reasonable, woman, we cannot take on another genre.” Yet part of me is intrigued with what’s grabbed her interest this time.
Last week, I finally screwed up the courage to ask. “Suppose I’m willing to do what you want; what direction are thinking this time?”
I feel her amusement as she answers, “Dystopian with a side of psy-fi.”
“Bernadette, I don’t know anything about writing those.”
“Psh, you didn’t know anything about thrillers, either, but Kirkus loved it! Trust me.”
And you know what? Between you and me, I do trust her, even though she makes me crazy. Plus, if I ever want her to give me another romcom I know I have to do what she says.
—
Whitney Dineen is a multi-award-winning author of romantic comedies, nonfiction humor, and middle reader fiction. Her latest offering, Relatively Normal, is taking critics by storm. Whitney and Bernadette are currently in negotiations over what’s next.
Find out more about her on her website https://whitneydineen.com/
RELATIVELY NORMAL
Successful New York City event planner, Catriona Masterton, has been on a mission to keep her new fiancé from meeting her family. This Thanksgiving, she’s flat out of luck when orderly and regimented Ethan Crenshaw declares he will meet the Masterton Clan.
It’s not that Cat’s ashamed of her eccentric family, but how does one explain a mother with a kitchen gadget fetish, a father whose best friends are taxidermied field mice, and a super stoner man-child brother who lives in the basement? That doesn’t even include the fiercely-proud Scottish grandmother with a proclivity for profanity.
Just when the visit couldn’t get much worse, Cat is thrown a large curve ball when her ex-boyfriend and his family show up for Thanksgiving dinner. She’s torn between the order and predictability Ethan and her life in New York City represent, while her family and the Midwest pull her in a different direction. Will Cat make it out of her hometown in one piece or is she willing to embrace the chaos? Mishaps, mayhem, and confusion ensue in this laugh-out-loud tale of familial pandemonium.
Early Praise for Relatively Normal
“Relatively Normal by Whitney Dineen is among the best chick lit novels that I have read so far. Not only did it give me a long hearty laugh on many occasions, but the story also comes together splendidly. The unpredictable turns of the plot are adeptly created to grip the attention of any reader. Paired with the humor, the book makes for a must-read for anyone with an appreciation of romantic comedies.” — 5/5 Stars, Readers Favorite
“Relatively Normal is a piss yourself, hold on to your belly, catch your breath, and spill your pint tale. This story is hilarious, off the wall, daft, and you can picture each and every event as its being unfolded in your mind’s eye. This was my first read by Whitney Dineen but will not be my last thinking we should be bancharaids.” — A.J. Book Remarks
“You’ll laugh, cry, and scream (in a good way), at the utter hilarious pandemonium this lovable family can cause. Meeting the Mastersons this Holiday season will make you laugh, cry, and swoon with happiness at the wild, outrageous parties this lovable, kooky Scottish clan can deliver. Bring on the haggis! Whitney Dineen does it again! 5 Humongous Stars!!!” — Ms. Birdlady Book Blog
“Dineen has a talent for spinning a tale that is both hilarious and heartwarming. I loved this book!” — Bestselling Author Becky Monson
“Whitney Dineen continues to delight and surprise with her latest collection of quirky characters in Relatively Normal. You’ll laugh, groan, and get all the feels along with heroine Cat when she spends the holidays with her wacky family and finds herself in the center of a very complicated and compelling love triangle. This book is a must-read for fans of Marian Keyes and Kristan Higgins.” — Tracie Banister, Author of Izzy As Is
“Relatively Normal is Whitney Dineen’s best book to date. It will have you laughing out loud one moment and swooning the next. Above all it will make you grateful for all the weirdos in your own life that make life worth living.” — Jennifer Peel, Author of The Sidelined Wife
“Whitney Dineen knocks it out the park with a laugh-out-loud romantic comedy full of family weirdness and personal revelations. I loved it!” — USA Today Bestselling Author Sheryl Babin
“I loved Relatively Normal so much! It’s rare a book makes me laugh out loud but this one did…. repeatedly! I will be adding it to the top of my list of favorites for 2018!” — Annabella Costa, Author of My Perfect Ex-Boyfriend
“I’ve reviewed a number of Dineen’s books, so I expected to have a grand time reading this offering. If anything, it exceeded my expectations. Relatively Normal is definitely not your normal story about in-laws and holidays!” — Jack Magnus, Readers’ Favorite, 5/5-Stars
“So many LOL moments! I loved reading about a family that may just may be zanier than my own! Don’t miss out on this feel-good funny by Whitney Dineen.” — Kathryn Biel, Author of Made for Me
Buy the Book Here
Category: Contemporary Women Writers, How To and Tips
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