Living the Reality, Adjusting the Dream By Mary Keliikoa

When I was young, I dreamt of a big wedding. Long white dress. Cascading bouquet of white flowers. A church full of my closest friends and family, and of course saying I do to my best friend and soulmate. I had it all planned out.

The reality was when I did fall in love with my best friend and soulmate, we couldn’t afford the big wedding and we didn’t want to wait until we could. So we got our marriage license and ran to the courthouse to tie the knot. The ceremony was nothing like what I’d dreamed in those little girl fantasies, but we adjusted to the situation and ordered a simple bouquet. I wore a sun dress and my husband was dressed in shorts, as any respectable Hawaiian will attest is dressing up, and thirty years later, we’re still going strong. 

I tell you the story because my writing life has followed a similar path. When I started writing at the age of 27, I had big dreams. I was working in a law firm as a legal secretary when I dove into creating a mystery novel. I was certain my finished creation would launch me into a Big 5 publishing contract and go on to sell millions of copies like my idols, Mary Higgins Clark and Sue Grafton. But that book did not sell. Neither did Book 2, or 3, and by book 4, life was progressing. I was 35 and it was clear that quitting my day job to write full time wasn’t an option any time soon.

Then as things happen, we had an idea for a business so I put the pen down and went to work creating another part of my life that has served me well and my dream of success in that arena became the focus. 

When I finally returned to writing 16 years later, the writing landscape had done a 180. Social media was a thing. A big thing. Self-publishing, and not just in vanity press which had been around forever, was a real and valid option. And the dream of hitting the bigtime with a Big 5 and being gainfully employed to write books while, still existing, felt far less attainable. 

Still, I wrote, and polished and adjusted my desires to fit the moment. That was to find an agent and get a book deal for that fourth book that I had tucked away years ago. I would go on to get that agent and that book deal, but with a small publisher. Once again, I had to adjust the dream to the reality of the situation. I wouldn’t have the backing of a large publisher or their publicity department.

But I would have a published novel. One that I could hold in my hands and share with the world—share with people I did not know, not just friends and family. The reviews would come in and hopefully be good. And I would have a party. A big one with everyone there. Lots of cake and wine and good conversation and celebration.

And then Covid19 happened. A new reality—a new adjustment. There would be no party right now. But I would go online and I would support other authors going through the same thing. And I would be supported. Because writing is community and community is awesome.

The lesson weaved throughout these moments is the need to be flexible and to adjust. Because no matter how much I want something, sometimes life has another plan. I can either wallow in the moment of not having it, or tweak it to find the positive and the new true north in which to head. 

Is this publishing journey everything I dreamt of as a 27 year old? No. Is the result the same? Yes and even more so. That young woman never knew the ability of community and connection through social media. The ability to find kindred spirits and support from all over the world. 

My book is out and my heart is full with all of the wonderful people that supported me throughout my journey. There are so many. And my contract allows me to write two more books in the series. Sometimes the dream can be limiting. Sometimes you have to be open to what’s in store might be even more than you imagined. So today I dream a new dream while feeling gratitude toward the new reality. 

Because there is one thing I know. When you are surrounded by the right people, nothing else matters. And as I hold my husband’s hand and look out over the river, with my first novel sitting on the arm of the chair, I know it’s all going to turn out just fine. 

—

Mary Keliikoa spent the first 18 years of her adult life working around lawyers. Combining her love of all things legal and books, she creates a twisting mystery where justice prevails. She has had a short story published in Woman’s World and is the author of the PI Kelly Pruett Mystery Series. 

At home in Washington, she enjoys spending time with her family and her writing companions/fur-kids. When not at home, you can find Mary on a beach on the Big Island where she and her husband recharge. But even under the palm trees and blazing sun she’s plotting her next murder—novel that is.

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DERAILED

A dying wish. A secret world.
Can this grieving investigator stay on the right track?

PI Kelly Pruett is determined to make it on her own. And juggling clients at her late father’s detective agency, a controlling ex, and caring for a deaf daughter was never going to be easy. So she takes it as a good sign when a letter left by her dad ties into an unsolved case of a young woman struck by a train.

Hunting down the one person who can prove the mysterious death was not just a drunken accident, Kelly discovers this witness is in no condition to talk. And the closer she gets to the truth the longer her list of sleazy suspects with murderous motives grows.

On a crash course with a killer, she must piece together the puzzle of what really happened to the victim that rainy night, before her own fate is sealed and she loses everything near and dear, including her life

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Category: Contemporary Women Writers, How To and Tips