Self-Publishing During the Covid-19 Crisis

December 4, 2020 | By Gemma Lawrence | Reply More

There are many things that drive us, and who could have known that it would be the Covid-19 pandemic that would drive me to publish my debut novel.

I’ve been very lucky; my health has not been affected. However, I’m acutely aware of others whose lives have been turned upside down by this devastating virus, and it made me realise that life is short, and living in the moment has never been so important. So, what has this meant for my writing project? Well, I felt it very important to change tack. To act. No more waiting around.

As all writers will understand, the writer’s process is arduous. We draft, we edit, and then we tinker endlessly with our manuscript before a professional edit and proofread finishes the job. I’d done all of that and had been happily submitting to agents, with very positive responses, but there was always the dreaded ‘not for us’ line at the end.

I could have continued submitting until that elusive book deal came my way. I could have had another publisher asking if I was happy to alter my plotline, only to drop the project because I couldn’t bring myself to make all the changes they wanted, changes that would have affected the entire tone of the book, and the ending.

Yes, that happened. Was I prepared to kill my darlings to suit the needs of a publisher? In a word, no.

I know, I know. Sounds unbelievably arrogant and inflexible, but hear me out. To do what I did was totally out of character, to ignore an expert in their field. But to make the changes that they wanted would have made the book unrecognisable. It would have changed the characters completely and, crucially, it wouldn’t have been my book anymore.

It’s not personal, it’s just business. I realise that. But it’s a cut-throat business, and I had to choose between grabbing that much-desired book deal and protecting the integrity of my novel. I just chose to stand by my story. A decision my editor agreed with. It’s what I had poured my soul into, after all. Years of learning the craft. I’m proud of my novel, and I wanted it to be released into the world as it was. So I walked away from probably the best opportunity I had to be published, but I’m okay with that.

I should add here that publishers are not the bad guys, obviously. They make decisions based on the novels they want to release into the market, and that’s as it should be. But sometimes, it’s also okay to put your needs as a writer first, too. And of course, for some people it is the right decision to change their work to suit the needs of a publisher, if they’re happy to do that. I’m not judging – do whatever works for you – but this is what worked for me.

The continuous submissions process left me in a book limbo. My novel was as ready as it would ever be, the cover too, but it was doing nothing except gathering dust. So what was stopping me from releasing it myself?

Before Covid-19 it was that mischievous devil of self-doubt, sitting on my shoulder, telling me I could never publish a book, despite having written one that people had read and enjoyed. But with self-publishing you don’t have the validation of an agent or a publishing house behind you, with all their experience and prominence in the market, shouting ‘Yes, we love this book! Buy it now!’.

Self-publishing is just me, in my corner of the internet, hoping that someone buys my novel. And believe me, the dark cloud of rejection hovers just as comfortably above the self-publishing world as it does the traditional. The difference is that instead of agents declining, you fear that readers won’t buy your novel, or that they overlook it in a saturated market. There is always social media ads and PR companies to help with that of course, but these can be expensive, particularly PR, and can be out of reach for a debut author like myself.

But reader, despite that devil and the fear of rejection, I decided to take the plunge anyway. All because of Covid-19.

I could have carried on in that limbo, but life is for living. I knew that by self-publishing I’d be closing the door on the traditional route but I was okay with that too. Self-publishing is no longer the black sheep of the literary family, and this route is the right one for my debut and this chapter of my writing journey. Publishing this way can also serve another very important purpose too – to discover if readers actually like my work. Thankfully, they do, and that’s the best validation of all.

Who knows what will happen with any future novels I may write? I might get a book deal, I might not. But I love to write and will strive to produce quality work that, hopefully, others will enjoy. My advice, for what it’s worth, is this: be brave, live for today, and do what’s right for you. You’ve got this.

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