She Finished Something

February 29, 2020 | By J.O. Bald | Reply More

I have countless novels waiting to see the light of day. I dropped out of an online masters writing course from Humber College-a prestigious post-secondary institution in Toronto, Ontario-two months shy of completion. I have an array of art supplies I’ve collected but never completed any projects. I’m weary about going back to school, lest I change my mind mid way or never complete the course or program and waste money.

There are rare moments I do believe I have ADHD. Then I shake that idea out of my mind. I graduated primary school despite getting C’s and D’s in math and science (but got As in art, reading and writing). I graduated high school, despite being tutored for math (and taking the basic streams of math and science). Regardless of these obstacles, I earned a history degree at Laurentian University in Sudbury, Ontario. I’ve also cut ties with toxic relatives, too, which is no easy feat.

I remind myself that I finished guest posts for four marginal blogs last year. I never thought I’d get that many opportunities to write freelance (and I’m always keeping an eye out for more opportunities, whether paid or unpaid). Most of them were by luck, were totally by chance encounter and acceptance. Those four people are mentioned in the thank you section of my book, as they were a real asset in helping my confidence soar. It was this blooming confidence that helped me finish a book entitled Just Another Orchid, while I dealt with fibro. I’ve had it for the past five years and I bubble with resentment sometimes, because I’ve lost years of my youth (where I could have been working or traveling).

With all that said, I discovered in the early spring of last year, that I was a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP). Fibro was the result of reeling from the after effects of a stressful early life. I lost my father when I was five (but he was no dad of the year). My childhood was a blur as I was always moving a lot and always a target for bullies.

Not to mention, I was dealing with emotional stress from imminent issues like poor job prospects (the business of freelance is rocky), unemployment (but I’m blessed my father left me an inheritance), and the fact, I wasn’t getting a book published. I felt angry and frustrated that it wasn’t happening. Moreover, I’m residing in a place I don’t wish to live in but stuck living in for the time being, as it’s cheaper than a city and I’m chronically ill, too.

It’s hard to write, especially at the speed you want, when chronic pain, brain fog, and fatigue slow you down. However, I found that doing the following helped me keep on track:

Breaking things down into smaller slots of time
Not being too hard on yourself to reach a specific page or word count per day
Don’t have high expectations of yourself or your work
Take lots of breaks and listen to your body
Schedule time off when you need it
Go for walks
Drink lots of tea (and eat lots of dark chocolate!)
If you feel ‘stuck’ at any point, take a break, change the time you write, move to another space to work, etc.
Don’t take on too many obligations for writing you can’t handle
Think of the reason you’re doing what you’re doing (ie. is it to help spread an idea? Is it something on your bucket list? Is it something you’ve promised to finish to a grandparent or dying relative? ).
Don’t give up.
Don’t compare-you are you with all the many extraordinary experiences you’ve had. Don’t doubt the importance of these experiences in your writing.
Don’t let all that effort, all that time go to waste-your work is worth sharing with the world. Don’t let yourself believe otherwise.
Get lots of sleep!

I’m proud of myself for finally finishing a project, even though it’s an ebook and not an actual book on a shelf (as I always imagined my book would be). Nor is it as long as I dreamed it would be, but it’s completed. After all, having been told that very few people actually finish writing a book, I’m happy I have. Now, I’ll be able to share my story with many others, in the hopes it helps them cope.

Jade

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Jade is a Canadian, history grad alum, HSP, fibromite, cat mom, and avid walker. She is also a virgo/libra rising, enneagram 5, INFJ, metal horse on Chinese zodiac, and Orlando Bloom fan. When not writing or walking, she’s enjoying dark chocolate, a warm cuppa, and a bloody good British mystery. Her book Just Another Orchid is on Amazon. You can follow her these four other platforms:

Twitter: @anotherorchid

Facebook: @justanotherorchid

Pinterest: @anotherorchidbook

Instagram: @anotherorchidbook

JUST ANOTHER ORCHID

One woman’s battle with Fibromyalgia (FMS), her discovery of High Sensitivity, and the road to better health. A good resource for Fibro patients, Highly Sensitive People (HSPs) and caretakers. It is also a good reference for writers, teachers, researchers employers, friends and co-workers of Fibro patients and HSPs.

Tags: women writers