The Inspiration Behind The Shell and the Octopus

by Rebecca Stirling

This story did not begin as a memoir. It did not even begin as my own story. I was asked by a close family friend, after his fourth bout with cancer, to write his story, because I knew it the best. Charlie is now a character in my memoir. He inspired my father to go to Peng Chou and build a boat, and then sail around the world with his family (me and for a short time, my mom).

Charlie had just gotten out of Changi Prison and wanted to crew for us on our boat. The lead up to this point in time is the story he wanted me to write. I wrote about him growing up, seeking adventure and wanting escape. About him meeting some characters in Aspen Colorado in the late ’60’s and promoting himself to crew for a man who wanted to build a large, beautiful boat, in Peng Chou, but had no idea how to sail. Charlie knew nothing of sailing either but that did not bother him. They set off through the Philippines towards Indonesia, and on the way were caught in cyclones, shot at by pirates, and flirted with wealth and power. They bought guns to defend themselves on the boat, then eventually had to leave the boat and the deranged captain. When they thought they had escaped danger, the authorities arrested them when they checked into a hotel in Singapore, for gun running. Because they had weapons. 

When Charlie was released, my dad was inspired. So, a year later, Charlie, my mom, my dad, and toddler me, were hanging out at the shipyard in Peng Chau as our boat, The Cattle Creek, came alive. When we were at sea, Charlie played with me and my dolls, we listened to Sesame Street recordings together, and we both sucked our thumbs when my parents fought above decks. 

I spent seven years rewriting versions of and writing new sections for Charlie’s book. Whenever I brought it to an agent or publisher they would ask, “why are you writing his book? We want to know the story of this little girl.” And so I inserted my story here and there. I learned that at that time I was not telling Charlie’s story in an authentic way, because I was repeating a polished, neatly packaged story that he wanted me to tell. The story I began to tell of my own was from my heart, and therefore seemed to resonate more with readers. And, I had my own journals from the age of ten, in addition to my dad’s journals, and our boats log to refer to for accuracy. 

The process involved writing memories of my own that coincided with Charlie’s memories, which created Part One of The Shell and the Octopus. Then I began to write about my father’s death, and about going back to the boat with my sister after he died, and all of the memories that came flooding back. Again, I referred to my journals. I had been afraid to open my journals until then because I wanted to block out the sailing experiences from my life in an attempt to feel ‘normal,’ and I had blocked out my father to hide from the tragedy of his death. 

The writing of this story was a very painful and important healing process for me. I acknowledged that sailing, and my father, had in fact been a huge part of my life, and I missed them both. I missed the passion, the adventure, the curiosity and acceptance, the magic and the beauty. I did not miss the drinking and too many women, and knew in my heart that the dysfunction did not have to be such a huge part of life. 

I patched together three sections of our major sails together, spending time finding old photos and articles, sailing logs and journal entries. In the middle of the story I realised I wanted to sail again and that I could no longer live the life I had contrived. My husband and I amicably split, and I manifested going back to where I was when I was young and to where Charlie had sailed prior to our sail, to Peng Chou and the Sulu Sea. I wrote and wrote about this. A year later, I was there. Forty years of perspective dropped my jaw. Charlie’s story fell away as I had found my own.

I realised that my book also touches on womanhood, on the state of the earth and her climate, on plastic in the ocean, on women needing women and culture and weaving and dyes. On markets and cooking. It speaks to the importance of taking care of yourself, family, culture and the earth. Of the mystery of living in a man’s world. Of living within religions that intertwine and also clash. It touches on the need for family. For fidelity. For truth and love. I realised that I had a new awareness of myself, and that I was ok, and so are you, even with the hidden parts and the secret past. So I wrote it down.

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Rebecca Stirling lives between Aspen, Colorado and Kauai, Hawaii, with her two children. She teaches creative art and writing classes to help spread the knowledge and ingenuity of world cultures. She continues to sail and travel, read and write, and has a love for the stories that individuals, cultures and our earth have to tell.

Find out more about her on her website https://www.rebeccastirlingwriter.com/ 

THE SHELL AND THE OCTOPUS

This is the story of Rebecca Stirling’s childhood: a young girl raised by the sea, by men, and by literature. Circumnavigating the world on a thirty-foot sailboat, the Stirlings spend weeks at a time on the open ocean, surviving storms and visiting uncharted islands and villages. Ushered through her young life by a father who loves adventure, women, and extremes, Rebecca befriends “working girls” in the ports they visit (as they are often the only other females present in the bars that they end up in) and, on the boat, falls in love with her crewmate and learns to live like the men around her.

But her driven nature and the role models in the books she reads make her determined to be a lady, continue her education, begin a career, live in a real home, and begin a family of her own. Once she finally gets away from the boat and her dad and sets to work upon making her own dream a reality, however, Rebecca begins to realize life is not what she thought it would be—and when her father dies in a tragic accident, she must return to her old life to sift through the mess and magic he has left behind.

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