The Story Behind Secret Lives of Mothers & Daughters by Anita Kushwaha

February 18, 2020 | By Anita Kushwaha More

If this article is published on January 28th it will coincide with the Canadian release of my novel Secret Lives of Mothers & Daughters. As I write, there is still an insulating week left between me and launch day, the day that the book child I’ve nurtured for years gets thrust into the wild. The imminence of the event has me reflecting on the process that led me to this point in my writing life and publishing journey.

When you’re starting out in this unpredictable gig, you always hear other writers talk about how long it takes for books to get published following the traditional route. Yes, indeed. Here’s a little insight into what the long road to publication looked like for me.

I always knew I wanted to be a writer. One of my favourite pastimes as a child was making books and journals out of old cereal boxes and envelopes. I used to scribble poetry on the back of my bedroom door under a poster, to have in the world, albeit protected. I often got into trouble with the neighbours for telling tales, and even garnered a reputation for being a “fibber” with the babysitter across the street who didn’t understand that all I was trying to do was spin an entertaining yarn. (There was this one time I made up having a little sister. To clarify, I do not.)

I’m always envious of writers who talk about their families being the first place their dreams were nurtured. I wish that had been the case for me but looking back I see it was never going to be the case. Like many children of immigrants, my job was to be a vessel of my parents’ dreams and, above all, to be successful. Writing wasn’t practical or useful.

Most of my storybooks were thrown away. When I shared my desire to pursue my dream it was reduced to a hobby and I was steered in another direction. The hurt caused me to bury my dream deep down, where I could protect it. I wrote in hiding and dreamt my dream in isolation. I think because of all this it took me longer than most to find my voice.

Fortunately, I’m the kind of person who has many interests and makes the best of things. I went as far as I could with my education and feel very blessed to have met incredible people and travelled to beautiful places, like the Canadian arctic, in my life as a social and environmental researcher. But when I finished my doctorate, I felt strongly that I had spent enough of my finite time on earth living someone else’s dream for my life. With the support of my husband, I took the leap, and I’ve never looked back.

Secret Lives is special to me for so many reasons. It’s the book that connected me with my wonderful agent, who has since become a trusted friend.

Did I mention it took five years of querying for me to find the agent of my dreams? Putting submission packages together was quite literally my part-time job during that period. I had a spreadsheet of all the queries I sent out and the responses I received, when I received responses at all (mostly rejections).

I had a separate email account dedicated to queries that I dreaded checking every day. I remember feeling like there was very little hope left of me finding an agent who understood me as a writer, my book, and the kind of stories I wanted to tell. I was starting to face the reality that I might have to shelf the manuscript and write the next one, a disheartening thought, and one I’ve faced before.

Then, late one evening, I got a message from an agent who was high on my list, but whom I also thought wouldn’t be interested. It was nine o’clock and she was so excited about the book, she wanted to have the call right then and there. I broke out into a cold sweat—I wasn’t ready for that!

I needed time to prepare or at the very least for my heart to stop racing. I politely asked for us to arrange our conversation for the next day, and spent a sleepless night scouring the internet for which questions to ask. We ended up talking for hours. I felt so heartened. Finally, I had met someone who “got” the book, someone who was as excited about it as I was. Although it took several years, all the rejections and endless hours spent putting submission packages was worth it—I found the mythical right fit.

After working for months on revisions with my agent, the book went on submission and found a good home with HarperCollins. Add another year of intensive revisions, entirely worth the time and effort for how the story and characters developed through the rewrites. Another ten months of waiting in the publication queue and here we are. In total, two years from the time I signed the contract. But more like twenty years, really, to cultivate self-belief, dust off these dreams and put in the work to make them come true.

In terms of the novel itself, Secret Lives is a mother-daughter story told in alternating timelines, that of Asha and Mala. The story begins with the revelation that Asha’s parents have kept the truth about her adoption a secret for her entire life. But why? As Asha is thrust on a journey of self-discovery, the reader is introduced to Mala, and the choices and secrets that end up shaping both their lives.

More broadly, the book is about the ties that bind mothers and daughters together, and the secrets that tear them apart. I’m fascinated by the complexity of mother-daughter relationships, for instance, why we place such high expectations on each other and the cost of those expectations. My characters often grapple with the pressure of being “good daughters,” which can make living authentically a challenge as they try their best to fulfill that role. (Sound familiar?)

This book has made so many of my dreams come true. My road to publication has been long, punctuated by some of the highest highs and lowest lows I’ve ever experienced. I’m glad I took the leap of faith, put in the work, and refused to give up. You don’t need approval to get where you want to in this life. There is no one way or right way. Each of our paths are distinct, and well-worth travelling.

Anita Kushwaha grew up in Aylmer, Quebec. Her road to publication included a fulfilling career in academia, where she studied human geography at Carleton University and earned an M.A. and a Ph.D. She is also a graduate of the Humber School for Writers creative writing program, a member of the Canadian Authors Association and the Women’s Fiction Writers Association, and the recipient of a Literary Creations grant from the Ontario Arts Council.

Her novel SECRET LIVES OF MOTHERS & DAUGHTERS released in Canada on January 28, 2020 by Harper Avenue and on February 18, 2020 in the US, UK, AUS and NZ by HarperCollins Publishers. She lives in Ottawa.

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SECRET LIVES OF MOTHERS AND DAUGHTERS

A breathtaking novel about the ties that bind mothers and daughters together and the secrets that tear them apart.

Veena, Mala and Nandini are three very different women with something in common. Out of love, each bears a secret that will haunt her life—and that of her daughter—because the risk of telling the truth is too great. But secrets have consequences. Particularly for Asha, a young woman on the cusp of adulthood, who links them together.

After her eighteenth birthday, Asha is devastated to learn that she was adopted as a baby. What’s more, her birth mother died of a mysterious illness, leaving Asha with only a letter.

Nandini, Asha’s adoptive mother, has always feared the truth would come between them.

Veena, a recent widow, worries about her daughter Mala’s future. The shock of her husband’s sudden death leaves her shaken and convinces her that the only way to keep her daughter safe is to secure her future.

Mala struggles to balance her dreams and ambition with her mother’s expectations. She must bear a secret, the burden of which threatens her very life.

Three mothers—each bound by love, deceit and a young woman who connects them all. Secret Lives of Mothers & Daughters is an intergenerational novel about family, duty and the choices we make in the name of love.

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