When I started on a spiritual path almost thirty years ago, I voraciously read every account of spiritual awakening that I could find. Mind you, there wasn’t an Amazon.com, and I had to go to an actual bookstore to find books in this genre. Mostly I read books about the saints – but then Shirley MacLaine’s book, Out on a Limb, was published. Here was a modern, intelligent woman entering spiritual realms as an adventuress and explorer.
She truly went “out on a limb”, when she had the courage to write about her past lives, spirit guides and visits to psychic mediums. She risked her professional reputation as an actress in revealing her explorations, and she inspired me to have the courage to enter a four-year training at the Barbara Brennan School of Healing, where I would learn to perceive energy fields and work with the subtle body or aura for the purpose of healing.
My life has been a wild ride ever since, and I have never looked back, despite the many challenges I have faced. I decided to write about my spiritual evolution and transformative experiences, in my memoir Wired for God, Adventures of a Jewish Yogi, to inspire others on the spiritual path. When I first started writing my book, I was terrified that if I shared my innermost spiritual experiences, they would somehow be taken from me, through criticism or disbelief. I was afraid I would be considered “woo-woo” and flakey.
What I have since discovered is that when I share my own experience of spirituality, it touches a very deep place inside those who long for a spiritual path or sense of inner connection to the Divine. In every true story of awakening there is a transmission that evokes our innermost longing, a holy longing, to touch the ineffable. Our spiritual experiences serve to remind us that we are more than just a physical body moving through linear time and space. When we touch the ineffable we enter the timeless realm of spirit, our true home.
The spiritual path is not all light and bliss! One reason I wrote about my spiritual journey is because seekers across all traditions inevitably face a dark night of the soul, a loss of connection, and misplaced trust. Exploring the shadow side of spirituality is as important as sharing experiences of at-one-ment and transcendence.
It is helpful to have good spiritual guidance during these dark times. I wrote about my own experience of being seduced by a so-called spiritual teacher, because I know this is unfortunately a common occurrence. I hope that my subsequent healing from this painful incident will guide others to persevere through the tough times on their own path, and to be careful of those they choose to be their teachers.
Almost every expansive spiritual experience is followed by a corresponding deep inner dive to places that are dark and contracted. This oscillation of states purifies us, until we are clear enough to face the rollercoaster of life without being pulled from our center. Only then can we start to experience the silence that is the gateway to the Divine.
The toughest chapter I had to write in my memoir is about the loss of six dear people in my life, and the process of grieving while simultaneously knowing the ultimate truth: Death is just a matter of dropping of the body for a new form of existence. I sobbed numerous times while writing and healed my heart as I wrote. The veil between worlds was very thin at this time, and I felt very connected to the spirits of my loved ones on the other side.
The other blessing and challenge in writing about spirituality, is that it forced me to examine what was true and helpful on my path, and face that which was not helpful and harmful. I began to see the threads that have lead me forward, and how my sheer determination to find a self-realized teacher miraculously brought that teacher to my door. As the saying goes, “When the student is ready, the teacher will appear.”
Eventually I discovered that personal healing and spiritual awakening go hand-in-hand. As we heal, we open to a wider perception of who we are and why we are here. Ultimately, I believe we are here to know the Divine through the very vehicle of our human life and our human challenges.
When we share our stories of awakening, we break the bounds of our isolated sense of self, and we remember who we truly are – divine beings squeezed into human clothes.
ABOUT THE BOOK: When the Judaism of her childhood doesn’t satisfy Dani Antman’s yearning for spiritual awakening, she embarks on a quest for a spiritual path. Dani finds herself immersed in the world of yoga, energy healing, and Kabbalah but her journey of inner transformation has only just begun.
A healing crisis, misplaced trust and a failed marriage, intensify her desire for a teacher who can lead her to self-realization. Her prayers are answered in the form of a realized adept, a Swami from the faraway shores of Rishikesh, India, who initiates her in his lineage of Kundalini Science, the study of the Divine force within every human being that is the initiator of spiritual growth.
And so begins an incredible inner journey as Dani dedicates herself to a spiritual practice aimed at the redirection and completion of a challenging Kundalini process related to her Jewish past. Paradoxically, with the completion of her process she experiences a triumphant return to the religion of her birth.
“Wired for God” is the candid and compelling memoir of Dani Antman’s spiritual journey from mystical Judaism through Kundalini Science and back again, told in a conversational and informal style. Her story gives inspiration and hope to all sincere seekers looking to make real spiritual progress and find their own unique spiritual path.
Dani Antman, is an internationally known energy healer in practice in Santa Barbara, CA. She specializes in helping people release old traumas and move forward in life. She is the author of Wired for God, Adventures of a Jewish Yogi, Turning Stone Press, 2017. wwwwiredforgod.com and www.daniantman.com