Writing to Heal: A Personal Journey by Linda C. Wisniewski

August 14, 2021 | By Women Writers Women Books | Reply More

Writing to Heal: A Personal Journey

by Linda C. Wisniewski

Take a walk through any bookstore, and you’ll see that memoirs are among the most popular books sold today. People from all walks of life are putting their stories together for their families, friends and for publication. They write for self-expression, to share their struggles and triumphs, and to leave a record for their children.

We love to read real-life inspirational stories. But did you know there are very tangible health benefits to writing your story?

In the 1990s, Dr. James Pennebaker, a professor of psychology at the University of Texas at Austin, did some research on the effects of personal writing. He found that people who wrote about emotionally traumatic events showed reduced blood pressure and heart rate and improvement in conditions like asthma and rheumatoid arthritis.

You may have experienced these benefits yourself after writing in a diary or journal. And if you’ve shared a personal story with a friend, you probably know the comfort of a sympathetic ear. But even if you write only for yourself, putting your feelings down on paper – or keyboard – can change your life. We begin to see our place in the larger story. We reflect on life’s meaning. And we find, after a time of writing and reflection, that upsetting experiences have less power. We no longer feel the old pain.

When I began to write about my own painful memories, my tears fell onto the page. But soon, the act of revising and creating a story from these memories became my life’s purpose. Writing about the emotional abuse my mother, sister and I suffered at home brought a new understanding of the power of words to both hurt and heal. My father’s words beat us down, but the story I’ve written about our life together gave me empathy for other survivors. I was finally able to understand my mother’s passivity and why other women don’t immediately leave abusive partners. I saw, through writing, that often I was like her, passive and silent. Forgiving myself, and her, I found my own voice.

Over the years, I’ve found that memoir writing has taken the sting out of my most painful memories. The tears that once dampened my pages have dried. When I read my stories aloud to an audience, I sometimes feel a moment of sadness for my past but that’s a long way from the raw pain that once had me in its grip.

The journey to healing emotional wounds through writing is one we can all travel. All you need is something to write with, a comfortable space, and the time and willingness to look within.

To get you started, here are a few things I’ve learned along the way.

Write in a place where you feel comfortable and safe. I’ve used a spare room in my home, a bench in a park, a quiet coffee shop.
Listen to comforting music as you write. I like smooth jazz, but many people like pop instrumentals or classical favorites.
Use props – photographs, recipes, keepsakes, even articles of clothing. Set one in front of you to jog your memory as you write.
Be honest. No one is always the hero or heroine. We all have flaws, and even villains have some good points. A balanced story is more healing than one with cartoon-like characters.
Let the words flow. Don’t even think about editing yourself until you’ve done a first draft. The real meaning of my stories often appears at the very end, surprising me with an insight.
Set a timer for an hour and stop writing when it goes off. Ruminating endlessly is not healing.
If you feel sad after writing, be kind to yourself. Take a walk, play with a pet, have a cup of tea. And if your sadness about the past interferes with your life, seek help from a pastor or therapist.
At the end of each writing session, reflect on the meaning of your words. What is the moral of your story? What message would you like to convey? Write this at the top of your piece.
Look for the positive aspects in your story. Even the worst experiences can be turned into a work of art on the page that heals your own soul and inspires others to go on when life is hard.
When you are ready, share your story with someone you trust. You may find that your words evoke similar memories in others. You will feel understood and help them to heal as well.

A truly wonderful thing can happen when you write about your life. You begin to see how miraculous it is just to have lived it. Having the ability to look back and learn from events that used to paralyze me emotionally has changed my life in ways I could never have imagined.

It landed me a newspaper job and offers to teach memoir writing at senior centers, a community college and writing conferences, and connected me to women’s writing organizations who support and encourage my work. Best of all, I now know that every event, whether happy or sad, has within it, an important truth about being human and alive, a truth that grows in beauty when shared.—

Linda C. Wisniewski lives and writes in Bucks County, PA and teaches at the Pearl Buck Writing Center. Her memoir, Off Kilter, was published by Pearlsong Press. Her novel, Where the Stork Flies, was released in May 2021 by Sand Hill Review Press. Linda blogs at her website, http://www.lindawis.com.

WHERE THE STORK FLIES

Kat is at loose ends after her husband ditched her and their daughter followed suit. When a lost time traveler appears in her Pennsylvania kitchen, she grasps at the chance to give her life meaning by helping the woman find her way home. But a mysterious stranger insists they are together for a purpose. Slipping through a portal to an 1825 Polish village, Kat meets her own ancestors and discovers how her own mistakes derailed her life. Can she bring her new understanding of forgiveness and unconditional love back to the present and heal her family before it’s too late?