You Are Not Unique

October 5, 2014 | By | 9 Replies More

tanzenMy love of writing didn’t come to light until I actually sat down and did it formally. It wasn’t until a topic stirred me with such intensity that it made me realize that maybe it was worth sharing with the world.

Once I put my proverbial pen down to rest, and sat back to admire my creation, I was suddenly struck by self-doubt and feelings of inferiority and worthlessness. I questioned what made me think that I was so special that someone would want to read my drivel. I ruminated over it for months until I finally tucked the project away for two years.

One fateful day, a dear friend poured out her heart to me, and I experienced the first of many epiphanies surrounding this new journey in my life. There actually might have been a reason that I wrote my story. I entrusted her with my work and anxiously awaited her critique. Her feedback was not what I expected at all; as I secretly felt that it would just get swept under the rug and we’d never speak of it again.

It was the day that she came to me with tears in her eyes and said, “Why on earth haven’t you published it? There are so many women like me that need to hear what you have to say.”

I love this woman dearly, so her words felt more like my mother saying, “But I think you’re beautiful.” It didn’t matter that those close to me constantly encouraged me to share my words. I still felt like a joke. I still felt like that awkward freckled-faced little girl who was the butt of everyone’s jokes.

What my loved ones didn’t recognize was that I wasn’t putting my words out there; I was putting myself out there. Stripping myself naked and standing in the middle of the street for the entire world to look at. To judge. To criticize. To mock. Why on earth would I want to do such a thing? Why would I want to take my already-insecure and fragile self and set it up for further condemnation?

The answers only came to me recently. Well actually, the answers had come to me so many times before, but I only heard white noise and couldn’t see past the end of my own nose.

Because I’m worthy.

Because I have a gift.

Because there’s nothing unique about me.

Those three answers may sound completely askew, but they are the truth in a nutshell. My life events may be shuffled in a unique order, but I am not alone in those experiences. There are other women out there like me who feel the same way I do, think the same way I do, but feel alone, just like I did. It means that maybe my gift of spinning a tale could touch someone who otherwise felt alone. Someone who longed to have an unconditional friend by their side – even if only in spirit.

Some writers say that writing is an escape for them; writing for me, is a discovery. I found “me” for the first time in my life. I stood naked in front of the mirror ad looked deep into my soul. I dusted off all of the negative words and experiences that sullied the beauty of my heart and allowed my gorgeous self to emerge.

Yes. I am gorgeous. Breathtaking actually.

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Veronica Tanzen’s Memoir

Once I looked past how my post motherhood breasts didn’t perk anymore (and the five inch scar running down my untoned abdomen like a crooked zipper), I was able to see the beauty that was dying to get out and share itself with the world. Deep down, underneath that well-worn packaging was a gift so marvelous that I knew I couldn’t hide it anymore. I realized that my heart and soul are so amazing that they could take anyone’s breath away, if I could just muster up the courage to share “me.”

Recently, I held my breath, closed my eyes, and leaped out into the word – naked. I decided that it was time to live my life out loud instead of watching it pass as the masses stepped on or through me. I stood up to be noticed and finally understood that it was never about me. It was about you.

You are the reason that I put pen to paper. You are the one that I wanted to unveil. Your goose bumps and tears inspired me to reach out to you and wrap my words around you. I wanted to protect you and give you the strength that you didn’t know you had. Your happiness is what strengthens the beat of my heart.

Who are you?

You are the woman that we all are.

You are me.

By releasing “me” to the world, we have collectively become more beautiful. We complete each other. We hold each other up when another falters or is exhausted from the day’s battle. We are not arrogant or crass, we are divine. We create life for god’s sake, so why can’t we stop and admit how amazing we are? So who are we really?

We are worthy.

We are a gift.

We are not unique, because we are one.


Veronica Tanzen has written articles for community and corporate newsletters for many years. Her unofficial fan base has long been anticipating this more creative wave of her literary wand. LOL 😉 is her first memoir.

Learn more at http://www.veronicatanzen.com/

Follow her on twitter @VeronicaTanzen

Visit her on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/veronicatanzen

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Category: Contemporary Women Writers, On Writing

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  1. Zita Fogarty says:

    Hi Veronica. Thanks for sharing your humane-ness (or is it your humanity?) so eloquently. As a starting out writer myself I totally empathise with the naked fear you so beautifully describe.It’s funny how once we make that first big scary step things start to happen, doors start to open. They do shut again from time to time but not for very long, thankfully.

    Zita

  2. I felt the same way when I started posting my poems. I was terrified to bare my soul to the world! I do disagree with your view of unique. People have many commonalities, yes. It is why we relate on so many levels. But not everyone can articulate those feelings, and the aspect of your connections is what defines your uniqueness. We all have something different to contribute. Our path combined with perspective and delivery can NEVER be exactly the same for us all. Don’t see yourself short. God made us all different, so we could do His work. You are doing yours and we are benefiting! Being unique doesn’t have to relate to ego or self-elevation. It is being true to your calling in my mind.

  3. We are one – we have the same un-perky breasts and stomach zippers – only my zipper is landscape instead of portrait! The courage to share your writing is inspirational. Maybe it’s like love…there’s at least one reader out there for all of us.

  4. Great post!
    I could identify myself in more places than one..this spoke to me profoundly.
    Thank you for reaching out even if in spirit only.

  5. Amy Mackin says:

    Great post. I, too, often tell myself this–to keep me going through all the rejection. No, I’m not unique. I wrote the novel I was looking for, the heroine I needed. And because I’m not unique, I believe there are many, many women who have been looking for a similar story and yearn for this different kind of heroine. So no matter how many times it’s rejected, I do believe there is an audience for this novel, if and when it ever makes it out into the world.

  6. So much for proofing before I was awake! Sorry for the typos… 🙂

  7. I so hear you! This is exactly the kind of struggle I went through, and continue to go through. It’s so admirable that you pushed past all of the doubts and took that step forward. I took found “me” while writing my memoir. The me that got lost in all the grief and losses. I want to find her again. It’s amazing to me how writing has changed my outlook. It’s not all roses, no it’s not. I just found out my ex has found someone else, and I am grieving our divorce all over again.
    Articles like yours help me realize I’m not alone it all of this. Thank you.

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