An Archaeological Dig of My Life by Deborah Kalb

Many decades ago, when I was in my 20s, I decided to write a mystery novel. I had been working at a magazine in Washington, D.C., filled with interesting characters, so I thought that might make a good setting. But who would be my protagonist? Although I was a longtime fan of PBS’s Mystery series, I didn’t think I’d be able to write about an actual detective. 

So my focus narrowed to someone a lot like me. That would be easier, I thought. Jennifer Greenberg emerged. Jennifer because her name was about as boring and common as Deborah. Greenberg as a variation of my mom’s maiden name, Green. Jennifer Greenberg’s parents would be scholars of Eastern Europe, as would her younger sister, Karen (not too far off from my own family), but Jennifer herself would be a little lost. Feeling as if she’d be a lifelong intern, or an eternal peon (not too far off from me). 

I wrote one manuscript about Jennifer Greenberg solving a mystery at a chaotic magazine called Lens. Then I traveled to visit a friend in South Africa, and wrote another manuscript about Jennifer Greenberg solving a mystery in South Africa. Then I spent some time editing manuscripts at Harvard’s Kennedy School, where my father was teaching, and wrote a third manuscript about Jennifer Greenberg solving a mystery at Harvard. 

I did have an agent for a while, but the manuscripts didn’t sell. “Needs more life experience,” one editor commented. So I threw all my material up in the air and decided to combine various elements into one new manuscript. This time it would feature Jennifer’s sister Karen, a graduate student in Eastern European studies at Stanford. (Not entirely coincidentally, my sister was a grad student at Stanford during this time, and I spent a year out there doing freelance writing and working on this new manuscript.)

The new manuscript, which I titled The Most Admired Way to Die (for reasons you’d only know if you read the book) was also set at Lens magazine, and I pulled out a couple of characters from the other manuscripts to insert into the story. This manuscript, I felt, would be superior. Karen would mark a new beginning in my career as an aspiring mystery writer. 

Why mystery, you might ask? Well, I was a huge fan of the work of Agatha Christie, Josephine Tey, and Dorothy Sayers from way back, and never missed an episode of the PBS mystery series. But I was wary about the idea of creating a plot. Dialogue, I thought I could do. Setting, well, maybe. But I was unable to come up with the idea for a non-mystery plot. Not that a mystery plot was easy, I learned. But I kept plugging away. And this fourth attempt also failed to be published.

So I put it away in the proverbial drawer (or floppy disk) and moved on to various adventures in D.C.-based journalism. But Jennifer and Karen Greenberg always lurked in the shadows. “What’s going on with your mystery novel?” well-meaning friends would ask. To which I had no good answer.

In my thirties, I suffered through a terrible broken engagement. After I emerged from the darkest despair, Karen Greenberg popped into my head. Why not bring her back? Older, wiser, chastened by romantic disaster. No longer a graduate student, but a professor. Let’s say her job disappeared and she ended up working at Lens magazine thanks to her best friend, Jill, a reporter there. I rewrote the entire manuscript, pouring my own emotional distress into poor Karen (who by then was surnamed Green). 

But the world of journalism took over my life again and that manuscript didn’t go anywhere. I got married (to someone else). We had a son. I wrote three middle grade novels for kids. But Karen was still there, demanding my attention.

By now it was more than two decades since I’d first tried to write a mystery novel. Trends had changed. Technology had changed. Names had changed. Karen became Lauren. Jill became Amanda. This time, a full-scale revision was in order. And because Lauren and her romantic interest, Nick (formerly Neil), decided without my input to take their budding relationship to a new level, I had to completely rewrite the last third of the book. But it was an improvement, I thought. 

Time went by. I published a non-mystery novel called Off to Join the Circus with a wonderful small press called Apprentice House. And then last year, the incredible news arrived…Apprentice House would publish the mystery novel (which I’d retitled Everything She Most Admired). Unbelievable! This manuscript, after more than 30 years of germination, would finally see the light of day! 

Looking back at the whole process, I realized that this manuscript was like an archaeological dig of my life. Bits and pieces, flotsam and jetsam, characters, experiences. It’s all there.

And the postscript: I also revised the third original mystery novel, the one where Jennifer Greenberg edits manuscripts at Harvard. Jennifer is now Lauren. Harvard is now the fictional Chesterbrook. Most of the characters are different. But Apprentice House is going to publish it next year, as a sequel to Everything She Most Admired. Hope springs eternal.

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Deborah Kalb is the author of the new novel Everything She Most Admired. Her other books include the novel Off to Join the Circus. She’s also written fiction for kids and nonfiction for adults. She’s the host of the longtime book blog Book Q&As with Deborah Kalb and is the co-host of the podcast Rereading Our Childhood. She spent two decades as a D.C.-based journalist, covering Congress and politics, and she lives in the Washington, D.C., area.

EVERYTHING SHE MOST ADMIRED

Lauren Green never expected to be a suspect in a murder investigation on her first day at D.C.-based Lens magazine. But then again, nothing had been going well lately.

Dumped by her fiancé, her academic career floundering, and her living situation up in the air, she’s barely holding things together. She knows she didn’t kill reporter Tony Mandel. But who did? Surrounded by murder suspects—including one whom she finds surprisingly intriguing—Lauren tries to piece the clues together, not only about Tony Mandel’s death but also about her own life.

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Tags: featured, women writers

Category: On Writing