Interview with Dr. Lynette Louise

March 12, 2019 | By Tsara Shelton | Reply More

INTRODUCTION

I confess that both my sister and I, who are the most voracious readers in our family, believe Dr. Lynette Louise (The Brain Broad) might be the most gifted writer we’ve ever read. I also confess that she is our mom.

Now, before you go thinking our opinion is less valid because of it consider this: It is nearly impossible to untangle ourselves from the stories of our mothers. Hence, we may be her most sensitive critics.

Interestingly, her recently released book Sever The Cycle of Abuse with The Sub Shop Savior is an exploration of this theme. The challenge of untangling ourselves from our mothers.

However, my mom’s mother was not like my own. Hers is a story of abuse and trauma.

Thanks to an invitation from Women Writers, Women’s Books I have taken some time to interview Lynette Louise, asking questions I feel are relevant to us women writers, particularly those of us that share our true stories.

I am the oldest of eight (mom adopted six of my siblings; four with autism, all from homes of abuse) and find that though I have known her all my life, and though her work and conversations are always candid and complete, they bring me to such new places I am never without questions to ask.

I hope you enjoy learning alongside my mom’s insights as much as I do.

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To me, reading your writing feels almost like being invited to deconstruct and experience the most intimate details of your thoughts, your beliefs, your hurts and pleasures, all while being encouraged to learn and grow and even heal from the time we spend together. It is always therapeutic, reading what you write. I wonder, has writing been therapeutic for you? Or, perhaps, has taking the time to dive so deeply into your often traumatic life stories ever held you back from healing? Do you have tips for telling our stories in order to heal and potentially help others without tethering ourselves to the place those stories are found?

ANSWER: I love this question. In fact, every aspect of this writing can be applied to healing. Let me explain: During the times of trauma, I wrote. That was a way to make sense of it, to get it out of me. So as a child if I felt traumatized and wanted to make sense of it I picked up a pen and paper. As I became an adult and wanted to help others I knew, due to the trauma of my childhood, I couldn’t help others unless I first helped myself. I had to at least be a step ahead. So the other people became my motivation for healing, As the journey evolved I came to understand that I was tethering myself to my past by bringing it up all the time, so I was in a predicament. How to help the others while not reinforcing my own position?

What I discovered is that it isn’t that you stop talking about it, it’s that you start talking about it from your new vantage point. Your past is always your past and a part of you, but it doesn’t have to be your prison. In fact, it can be your reason to fly.

Responsibility is a theme in much of your work. Do you find it challenging to tell your stories creatively while holding that need to choose and tell your stories responsibly? How do you find a balance between sharing knowledge that can trigger dangerous ideas or hurtful memories, but also offer answers that teach and help, all while feeling responsible for what you release to the world?

ANSWER: I don’t know if your readers know this, but I’ve been married five times. In the first three marriages I believed that responsibility was a prison. That commitment meant shackles. And then I discovered, through the process of number four, that commitment and responsibility are freedom. You no longer stress and look around for a better option, just in case. You choose your life and you live it.

Unfortunately, I didn’t yet know how to pass this thinking to my spouse. Of course, there’s lots of story here but I think the real reason for such high marriage numbers was that I had to learn not only how to find the freedom in commitment and responsibility but also how to pass that learning to others.

When it comes to my writing I know that the things I say can be triggers but, also, that I can’t share the learning without a willingness to put down the possible trigger. I learned it from getting married so much and being afraid to bring things up. So when I go to the computer to write a story or a book I get clear on exactly what kind of freedom I’m trying to share, find the personal story that goes with that, and trust that the right people will find it in their hands. And because I’m responsible and committed, I let go of the rest.

Have you always been drawn to writing truth? Your writing and performances are mainly centered on true, often deeply personal, stories and anecdotes.

ANSWER: I divide my writing into different mediums, and when I write it’s usually true. When I write books it’s true. When I write music and poetry, it originates from a feeling that was true, but I don’t write the truth. When I speak, because of confidentiality rules, I am often using analogies that are composites of truth.

Screenplays are primarily fiction. And my comedy is an exaggeration, meant to make you laugh, and can come from any place at all. Though, I have to admit, I always try to put in a lesson. In fact, that’s the one thing that’s true of every medium. I try to put in a lesson.

Your latest book, Sever the Cycle of Abuse with the Sub Shop Savior, is an emotive media mix of visual art and poetic writing. The writing is yours, the design is by Kathleen Carman, a woman on the autism spectrum, and Tawd b. Dorenfeld of Tink Tank Animate LLC which helps people on the autism spectrum, with brain injuries and other neurocognitive disorders, in the art of storytelling. And the sketches are by one of your grandchildren who is transgender. This inclusion is common in your work, which itself is consistently inclusive. Does employing diverse people on your projects happen naturally? Is it something you have purposely chosen to do or is it a natural product of your inclusive life?

ANSWER: It is a natural product of an inclusive life. When you’ve chosen to live inclusively, even as you stumble across your prejudices, you will correct them.

Speaking of diversity, your body of work is so eclectic! Your books alone come in several different styles. Instructive, scientific, poetic, mixed media, and even a sensual spiritual memoir. Is there an intention behind this? A bigger picture that brings everything together? Also, has the decision to be so varied in style (rather than easily branded) gotten in the way of your goals as an artist?

ANSWER: I remember one time I was sitting with a magician-comedian friend. He was explaining to me that I was hard to book because I was too varied. Even though I was extremely talented the bookers didn’t know how to represent me well. We were at the table and I picked up the salt shaker and said, “Here, this is you, you’re salt. You only want to be salt.

You’re going to flavor everyone’s food and make it better. You’re salt. You’re of great value. However, I’m more like this Tabasco sauce and the pepper and the salt and the napkin, I want to be able to help everyone improve their life regardless of their individual taste and need.” He said, “It will take forever to make money.” To which I replied, “Well, you’re building the one thing, and you can get paid for that. I’m building a city. It’s going to take a lot of investment. But how beautiful will it be in the end?”

He shook his head and ended the meal knowing I’d made the wrong decision. And I sat there in gratitude for his question because, until then, I hadn’t known what the heck I was doing. Here I am in my sixties and I’m still building that city but at least I can see the skyline.

Creative writers are commonly known to be largely uncomfortable with an audience that is present. Yet you have always been a writer seeking an audience that is present – with your stage performances, workshops, and keynote speaking – since first taking the stage to give a sermon on the perils of prejudice at the age of seven. I don’t even know if I have a question, but as a creative writer myself I wonder where you find that passion and bravery to be vulnerable (particularly as you share so intimately!) for an invisible audience as well as a real live one. Do you have a tip for those who may desire to share with a bigger audience from the stage or live interviews but are just too darn frightened by it?

ANSWER: Yes. Start before you start. The best tip I can give anyone who’s afraid of the stage is to start talking before they hit the stage and see the audience. Then you’re “on” before you they even see you. The beauty of writing books is you don’t need a team for the majority of the work, you can just write. So it gets somewhat addictive to just write a book when your other projects require producers, bookers, and the like, who may not agree with what you have to say or how you want to say it.

Writing a book is largely solitary. However, I’ve always been interested in seeing the faces of the people I’m talking to. I want to see who’s getting it, what the needs are, and adapt the talk. I have many things to share. A book shares only what you put down but a talk can be adapted for the needs of the moment. Every single time before I take the stage I ask myself, “What do these people need from me today?” Suddenly, I have the answer and the talk reshapes. No book can do that.

Is there anything you’d like to add for the women writers reading this interview, particularly those that seek to share personal stories in order to help others while healing themselves?

ANSWER: Really, regardless of why you’re writing, you have to know why you’re writing. Is it because you want to stay at home with your children and make a few dollars? Because you want to crack open the next big political drama? Because you want to improve your life and take a lot of people with you into a place of beauty? When you know that answer to why you write, you know how and what to write. And you won’t feel badly when other people tell you to do it different, like my magician-comedian friend, Glenn Ottaway. (Sorry, couldn’t resist giving him a plug. He’s an excellent performer and fantastic friend!)

I am grateful to my mom for taking the time to answer these questions for Women Writers, Women’s Book. And also, for always being candid and kind in the work she does, as a mother, clinician, speaker, filmmaker, and – of course – writer. I have gained confidence, new skills, and personal understanding from being in her audience (and family) and look forward to continuing to do so. I actively encourage others to do the same.

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Dr. Lynette Louise (aka The Brain Broad) is an International Brain Change and Behavior expert. She is a speaker, award-winning author, performer, recognized humanitarian, neurofeedback & autism expert, and creator/host/therapist for the international docu-series series FIX IT IN FIVE with LYNETTE LOUISE aka THE BRAIN BROAD, now showing on The Autism Channel. Her one-woman show, Crazy to Sane, about mental health and abuse, invites laughter, learning, and toe-tapping fun globally FREE every year in April (Autism Awareness Month and Sexual Assault Awareness Month). She is also the single mother of eight now grown children; Six were adopted and four were on the autism spectrum. Only one of her sons retains his label and remains dependent.