Not The Conversation I Was Expecting by Barbara Conrey
Barbara
Writers, especially female writers, are frequently discouraged from writing from a male point of view. Even though men write from the female point of view all the time. One of my favorite authors who excels at writing from the female point of view is Chris Bohjalian. The first book of his I read was a loaner from a friend, with the back cover torn off. The book was so well written—from the female point of view—that I was certain the author was a woman. Imagine my surprise when I first saw his picture.
When I started writing A Fine Layer of Dust, the story came to me, nearly fully formed, from Jake’s point of view. I was urged to make the main character female, but it just didn’t work that way. The story was Jake’s. So I proceeded.
The words flowed. I don’t know what I was worried about. Writing from a male point of view was no biggie. I imagined a conversation with a male friend, and I made words come out of Jake’s mouth. And I’d like to say that we lived happily ever after, but Jake took offense to some of the thoughts I put into his head. Not that he didn’t think them, he just wanted to put the blame somewhere other than on him. Mostly, he wanted to put the blame on me.
Our conversation went like this.
Jake: “I wanted to tell Sophia what I’d done. You just wouldn’t let me.”
Me: “Really? I don’t recall you putting your foot down.”
Jake: “Ha! You know what you’re like. You never listen to anything I say.”
Me: I beg to differ. You never shut up. All I do is listen.”
This was beginning to sound like a conversation I’d had years ago with one of my exes. Yes, there are two execs. Don’t judge.
Jake: “I wanted to tell Sophia at my father’s birthday party.”
Me: “So why didn’t you?”
Jake: “My old man… I could barely get a word in. And Sophia was upset about something. It just didn’t seem like a good time.”
Me: Your father and Sophia kept you from confessing? Is that right?
Suddenly, Jake had nothing to say. So I repeated the question, albeit slightly snidely.
Me: “I’m waiting. If you were so anxious to confess to your… mistake, why didn’t you?”
Jake: “I was afraid.”
Me: “You were afraid of little Sophia? What did you think she was going to do, bite you?”
Jake: “I didn’t want to break her heart.”
Me: “Now we’re getting somewhere. You didn’t want to break Sophia’s heart. But you did, didn’t you?”
Again, Jake is silent. We spent several minutes staring at each other. And then he caved.
Jake: “Yes. I broke her heart. Are you happy now? Sophia is the only woman I’ve ever loved. I lost my wife, and my daughter thinks I’m lower than scum. My entire life is ruined.”
I actually felt sorry for Jake. As I started to know him better, I saw that although he was somewhat cocky—what man isn’t?—he’d also had a somewhat hellish backstory. So maybe he needed a break.
I tried. Time after time, I put Jake and Sophia in a warm moment and let nature take its course. And time after time, Jake kept coming up with excuses as to why he couldn’t confess his sins to his wife.
So Jake learned the hard way that he couldn’t talk himself out of the hole he’d dug. And when he lied, well, Sophia was not about to put up with that. It was, if I do say so myself, one of Sophia’s finer moments.
Actions have consequences; everyone knows that. Sophia walked away. She built herself a life she could accept. Not that she didn’t struggle. Not that she wasn’t heartbroken. But this is Jake’s story.
Jake learned to live without a wife. He learned that he didn’t need to work for the most prestigious law firm in Vermont. He made many decisions, some good, some not. But I’ll let him tell you about them.
Here’s what I know for sure: A Fine Layer of Dust was definitely a collaboration between the woman who created the character and the man he became.
A FINE LAYER OF DUST
Attorney Jake Trenton’s perfectly ordered life unravels when he loses a promotion and his wife announces she wants to become a surrogate. While he spends even more time at the office to prove his worth, he worries about the effects on their family if Sophia carries a baby for a stranger.
Once Sophia explains how important it is to her to bear a child for someone who can’t, Jake reluctantly agrees. However, when the embryo transfer is successful, Jake’s carefully constructed world crumbles beneath the memory of his brother’s death, which occurred years ago in the same month the baby is due.
With nightmares plaguing his sleep and rage consuming his days, Jake makes a devastating choice that will forever alter the lives of two families. Suddenly, he is the kind of man he never thought he would be. Jake must confront the darkest parts of himself and question everything he thought he knew about love, loss, and what it truly means to heal.
BUY HERE
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Barbara Conrey is the USA Today Bestselling author of Nowhere Near Goodbye, her debut, My Secret to Keep, and A Fine Layer of Dust, published by Red Adept Publishing. Liza Fleissig represents her at Liza Royce Associates.
Barbara is an active Women’s Fiction Writers Association member and moderates the online book club for the Facebook group Bookish Road Trip.
Travel is her passion, along with reading, writing, hiking, and exploring antique shops. Barbara loves dogs and is partial to rescue beagles. She is an avid promoter of the Beagle Freedom Project. (https:// bfp.org).
Barbara lives in Pennsylvania, close to family and friends.
Learn more about Barbara or sign up for her newsletter here: https://www.barbaraconreyauthor.com
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Category: On Writing
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