On Writing My Pretty Baby: Seeking Truth and Finding Healing―A Memoir by Wendy B. Correa

Like many authors, I was haunted by stories that needed to be told, that demanded to be told, that wouldn’t stop badgering me until they saw themselves on paper. I began to write chapters of My Pretty Baby: Seeking Truth and Finding Healing in 2015 while attending writing classes at Lighthouse Writers Workshop in Denver and created my own “MFA” in Creative Writing program by taking classes there and online for years and reading dozens of memoirs and craft books.

Decades ago, I learned a sense memory exercise in an acting class in LA that brought to life past memories and emotions that could be used to develop more authentic characters. As it turns out, I learned that in writing too, sensory details anchor the reader in experience, not just in the explanation. Engaging the senses can transform flat details that tell what occurred, into three-dimensional narrative and vivid cinematic scenes, which pulls the reader into the heart of a story and shows them not only what happened but how it felt to be there.

In 2019 after my mother and stepfather had died, I sat in a musty attic of a beautiful Victorian mansion that housed Lighthouse Writers at the time with other writers three days a week for three hours a day for months and finished what Anne Lamott so lovingly calls my “shitty first draft.” 

My instructor for that “Get ‘er Done” class read and critiqued my manuscript. It had potential, but it obviously needed a lot of work. Through the power of social media, I found Brooke Warner and Linda Joy Myers’ Write Your Memoir in Six Months intensive. For every twice monthly class I turned in 2500 words, which were edited and returned to me with a detailed critique and explanation. Linda Joy, my mentor, who is an author and editor, had also been a psychotherapist for decades and guided me to “go deeper.” For months my only desire was to get the story down on paper in a creative and cogent manner that would not only grab a reader’s attention but might inform their own journey of healing from childhood trauma, family dysfunction and secrets, domestic violence, alcoholism and mental illness, although at the time I had no intention of publishing.

After the six-month intensive was over, I continued to work with Linda Joy for another year as I wrote draft after draft. At one point in our work together Linda Joy said, “You are going to have this published, right?” By that point, after years of hard work, with a manuscript that I felt proud of, I decided to submit it to Brooke who in addition to teaching, is the Publisher of She Writes Press. After yet another full developmental edit, My Pretty Baby was accepted to be published the following year. So many people have helped me along the way, including the exceptional staff of She Writes Press. Just as in many things in life, it also takes a village to write and publish a book.

Going back to the practice of using sense memory to recreate and draw from the memories and hence the scenes in my memoir, I gathered my tools around me: old photos, journals, letters, emails, calendars, and internet research to transport myself back to the time and place I was writing about. With all my senses, I invoked and studied the details of what I saw, heard, tasted, touched and smelled. Often the experience of reliving those events in real time resulted in heaving sobs of grief, regret and sadness. Thankfully I was working with a psychotherapist as I wrote the bulk of my memoir who guided me in EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization Reprocessing) that helps individuals process traumatic memories by using guided eye movements, or other forms of bilateral stimulation, to reduce the emotional intensity associated with them. She also introduced me to a breathing visualization technique called Image Transformation Therapy (ImTT), a modality that helps to process feelings and memories that are stored in the body and to release them in a gentle manner. Concurrently while writing my memoir, I studied the work of Bessel van der Kolk, Gabor Mate, Peter Levine and Nadine Burke whose research outlines the long-term effects of adverse childhood experiences (ACEs). In the online ACE Quiz, you can quickly learn your score. Sixty one percent of US adults have at least one ACE and one in six adults has four or more. I have a score of seven. But, what I want my readers to know is that although trauma is universal so is healing.

Over the past forty-five years I have worked on healing the trauma of my family secrets and dysfunction through the guidance of 12-Step programs, Buddhism & meditation, nature, somatic practices like hiking, dancing, yoga, and massage, Native American spirituality, writing and psychotherapy. 

I have learned that when we deny pain, we deny healing. Real resilience comes from acknowledging what happened and embracing it. As writers we have the honorable opportunity to share stories that might help others to feel less alone in theirs. My desire is that My Pretty Baby will be a survival guide for anyone who may be struggling with how to begin healing. As sociologist Brené Brown states, “When we deny our stories, they define us. When we own our stories, we get to write a brave new ending.”

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Wendy B. Correa is a writer, yogi, and student of Buddhism, as well as a licensed massage therapist. She has worked in the film, television, multimedia, and music industries in Los Angeles and later as a radio DJ in Aspen, Colorado. Wendy holds bachelor’s degrees in psychology and theater arts and has contributed articles to Mothering magazine.

A wife and mother, she currently resides in Denver, Colorado, and loves traveling to magical destinations with her family. My Pretty Baby is her debut memoir.

My Pretty Baby: Seeking Truth and Finding Healing―A Memoir

For fans of Educated and The Glass Castle, a former music industry insider’s journey of healing—from childhood trauma through spiritual practices and self-discovery to a place of peace—with some incredible celebrity encounters along the way.

Wendy Correa’s childhood is characterized by various traumas: the death of her father, emotionally distant siblings, a frequently neglectful mother, and a violent, alcoholic stepfather. After escaping that turbulent life, Wendy’s path of self-discovery takes her through Buddhism, meditation, plant medicine, yoga, Native American spirituality, 12-Step programs, and psychotherapy. Native American sweat lodge and vision quest ceremonies further strengthen her sobriety and mental well-being.

As her inner world begins to open up, so does her outer world. Wendy finds herself regularly encountering extraordinary circumstances: singing on stage with rock ’n’ roll royalty at the 1982 inaugural Peace Sunday concert, attending AA meetings with legendary musicians, working at A&M and Geffen Records, and spending time with her musical hero, Joni Mitchell.

Wendy’s life takes a new turn when she moves to Aspen and becomes a radio DJ and assistant to gonzo writer Hunter S. Thompson. There, she meets her future husband and begins to build the family she’s always longed for—but despite her newfound peace, she is repeatedly drawn back into her family of origin’s dysfunction. It’s only after her mother’s death that Wendy uncovers a painful family secret that finally answers her lifelong question: What really happened to my family?

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Tags: featured, women writers

Category: On Writing