Finding My Voice After Fifty: How Faith, Cancer, and an Unexpected Dream Led Me Back to Writing

My path has been shaped by questions, dreams, and mysteries that kept leading me forward.

Growing up Catholic in the middle of Illinois, I asked difficult questions few wanted to answer. As a child preparing for confirmation, I struggled with the idea that only Catholics could reach heaven. I couldn’t reconcile that with what I knew about people from other traditions who lived lives of compassion and reverence. Those questions never went away. They grew with me.

If you had asked me at twenty-five what my future held, “author” probably wasn’t on the list. My career was in telephonic counseling, then healthcare technology. I wasn’t attending writing conferences or writing on the weekends. I had written poetry, short stories, and even a bit of erotica in my twenties, but rejection letters made me think that part of me was over. I put all those pieces of paper into a file folder and decided I would just build a good life.

Looking back, I realize the road to becoming a novelist began decades before I believed I had stopped being a writer.

In college, I found myself drawn to philosophy and religion. While my classmates were following coursework with obvious destinations, I was captivated by people who wrestled with life’s biggest questions. I eventually earned a degree in Philosophy and Religion, even though I had no idea what kind of job it might lead to. I wrote incredibly long papers ruminating over a single thought-provoking paragraph. In creative writing, free-form poetry and stream of consciousness tapped my creative juices more than fine paints on canvas.

When a friend and I decided to have a child together, we wanted her to have more than a list of rules from her parents. I wanted her to grow up with a moral framework rooted in community, compassion, and responsibility. We were both comfortable with our belief in God, a higher being, but the dogma and judgment of most organized religions had zero appeal. That search kept Judaism quietly entering my life through friends, celebrations, and conversations.

Then, the night before the bris of my close friend’s son, I had a vivid dream that I converted to Judaism.

I enrolled in an Introduction to Judaism course, expecting to satisfy my curiosity. Instead, I found myself falling in love with a tradition that welcomed questions instead of fearing them. I loved the rhythm of Jewish life—the rituals, the holidays, the storytelling, and the conviction that each of us has a responsibility to help repair the world. These were the parts of Catholicism I had enjoyed most: chanting, rituals marking time, and the push to do good deeds. Rather than demanding blind obedience, Jewish tradition views questioning, debating, and even arguing with God as foundational. By the end of the course, I knew I had found my spiritual home.

Years passed. Life happened. I built a career, raised my daughter, and eventually survived cancer, which changed everything that followed.

Cancer has a way of rearranging your priorities. It quietly asks what you’ve been saving for “someday.” After treatment, counselors kept telling me I had to reinvent myself, to make myself anew, to really move through cancer. Except I didn’t know. Then, I experienced another unforgettable dream. This time, instead of leading me to a new faith, it led me to a blank page. In the middle of the night, I walked to the kitchen and drew an image on the back of an envelope I found on the counter, and that image stayed with me.

That image led me to start writing again. I had no idea how to write a novel. I stumbled, I fell, my sister-in-law gave me harsh but critically important feedback. After crying for nearly a day, I got back to it.

Cancer had taught me I could overcome difficult things. One step at a time, that dream became the seed of my first novel, The Adventures of Gefilda Fische, and it gave shape to the world I was building. I wrote it to entertain readers while opening a door into worlds few have explored.

As I wrote, I studied Jewish folklore, mysticism, and tradition, and the stories I explored because I found them beautiful and fascinating became the foundation of an entirely new fictional world.

Why do I write Jewish fantasy? As with my conversion, I’d say it is a calling. One of my favorite rabbis told me my Jewish soul finally found a path to expression, and that feels true to me.

I wrote it to entertain readers while weaving in the rich world of Jewish folklore and mysticism.

Publishing my first novel after fifty is the accomplishment I expect to define this chapter of my life. More than that, discovering that it’s never too late to grow and learn is the real story. Opening yourself to switchbacks and hard lefts can guide you to rewards outside the ordinary nine-to-five job.

I realize those questions, dreams, and mysteries weren’t detours at all. They were the path.

Faith isn’t about finding answers or suspending beliefs. I think it’s about continuing to ask questions.

And sometimes, if you’re fortunate, those questions lead somewhere you never imagined.

—

Michelle M. Reichert is the author of The Adventures of Gefilda Fische: A Jewish Tale of Supernatural Mischief and Spiritual Battles, a fantasy novel inspired by Jewish folklore, mysticism, faith, and more than a little mischief. She lives in the Portland, Oregon, area, where she continues to explore Jewish mythology and mysticism while working on the next adventures in the Gefilda Fische series. Learn more at www.gefildafische.com.

The Adventures of Gefilda Fische: A Jewish Tale of Supernatural Mischief and Spiritual Battles

Gefilda, a demon hunter disguised as a humble teacher, seems to spend her days guiding children in Jewish traditions. Yet from childhood she has seen what others cannot—spirits and demons—and within her mysterious cart, the Merkavah, lies the power to confront those that stalk the living. To protect the people, Gefilda has carried the mission in silence—until Isaac is drawn into her strange and perilous world.

Under her guidance, he must train both hands and mind, as mischievous spirits turn every lesson into a trial. With allies at her side, Gefilda faces the rise of Tehom, the abyss-born demon, and together they fight battles that test courage, strength, and faith— promising readers a journey so gripping, you’ll lose track of time and never see the last page coming.

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Tags: featured, women writers

Category: On Writing